Nick Gulas, promoting a May 1977 Chattanooga house show:  

“Tonight right here at the Memorial Auditorium, one of the biggest return NWA Mid-America heavyweight championship matches signed for Chattanooga in many years. The match will carry no time limit, no disqualification at the request of the Fabulous Jackie Fargo. He’s willing to put his hair on the line to get a title match against the Masked Executioner. These men battled it out some, awhile back, three weeks ago. Fargo’s been demanding a return match. He’s willing to put his hair on the line to get a title match here tonight right here at the Memorial Auditorium. One’s got to go. We’ll have a barber at ringside to cut Fargo’s hair off if he does not defeat and win that title tonight. On this same card, we’ve got one of the biggest return grudge tag battles of the year with the popular team of Ken Lucas and Don Greene. Don Greene asked for Ken Lucas after what you’ll see here on TV today to go against Crazy Luke Graham and King Ripper Collins. Then we’ve got the Brown Bombers coming back for the third straight week here. They have been signed to go against Pistol Pez Whatley and Ricky Fields. One of the other matches, the Russian Stomper returns here tonight to go up against Sugar Ray Candy and on the first match, Tojo Yamamoto has been signed to go against Jon Davidson. That’s tonight now right here at the Memorial Auditorium. The tickets are on sale right now at the Memorial Auditorium box office and the first match is at eight o’clock. 

Dream Machine, 1982, after winning the Southern title:  

“Jimmy Hart, I promise you with everything I have in my body and in my heart and my soul and in my pocketbook, this belt will not leave me, you understand what I’m saying, because this belt, the only time it’ll ever leave my person is when I bathe and that’s very seldom.” 

Lou Thesz and Lance Russell, 1978, regarding Thesz’s upcoming Memphis match with Terry Sawyer with the match winner receiving a Southern title match:

Thesz:             “Well, I think Terry Sawyer is a great wrestler, fine young wrestler, but his conduct in the ring is really unbecoming. He has a very poor professional attitude. He’s really a spoiled brat, is what it’s turned out to be. And I hate to see a thing like that because he has a great future or he should have had. But as you know, I’m gonna wrestle him one more time and this is gonna decide who’s gonna wrestle for the Southern heavyweight championship.” 

Russell:                        “That’s true.”

Thesz:             “And that’s the real important stepping stone to the heavyweight championship of the world. And I don’t say this boastfully, Lance, but having won the title six different times, uh, this Southern heavyweight title is very important. It will give me a shot at the world heavyweight championship, and I’ve had it six different times. I don’t say it boastfully, as I say, but I would like to have one more time as they say. And so far as the age situation are concerned, Terry keeps pointing out, Terry Sawyer, that perhaps I’m over the hill, well, football players like George Blanda and I could mention many other fine athletes over the past.” 

Russell:                        “Gordie Howe, greatest hockey player.” 

Thesz:             “Gordie Howe, yeah, sure. It goes, tremendous thing. Heck, I won the title last time when I was over fifty years of age and it doesn’t make any difference. It’s all up here (points to brain) of course.” 

A fan:                “That’s right!” 

Thesz:             “I think what Terry is trying to say sometimes when he says I’m over the hill, what he’s trying to say is I have more experience than he has and I want to try to evidence that Monday night.” (Crowd applauds.) 

Russell:                        “Well, I know one thing, Lou, that you and I have talked on many occasions and that dream of one more time is certainly in your heart and you’ve kept yourself in incredible condition and everybody’s got a lot of respect for you.” 

Thesz:             “Well, one more time is a crazy thing. I said it three times in the past.” 

Russell:                        “Yes.” 

Thesz:             I’ll say it one more time. Thank you very much.” 

Russell:                        “Okay, good luck, Lou. We’re gonna look for that match with Terry Sawyer. It’ll be the winner of that particular match will be getting a shot at the Southern heavyweight title.” 

Lance Russell, 1981, as the “Empty Arena” match between Jerry Lawler and Terry Funk begins:  

“Well, they’re both in the ring right now. Unbelievable. Eleven thousand three hundred empty seats. Terry Funk. Jerry the King Lawler.” 

Terry Funk and Lance Russell, 1981, as Funk, wearing an eye patch over his injured eye from the “Empty Arena” match, shows up unannounced looking for Jerry Lawler, who is out of town: 

Russell:                        “Terry, can we just take it on out and we’ll talk about it later?” (Funk grabs a chair from ringside.) 

Funk:                “Get him out!” 

Russell:                        “Lawler is not here. Now I can’t say it any plainer than that.” 

Funk:                “Where is he?” 

Russell:                        “He’s in Florida. He’s got commitments.” 

Funk:                “I’m gonna tell you something. Let me tell you one thing, I am the meanest man in professional wrestling. And you’re on Lawler’s side, the referee’s on Lawler’s side (turns to the studio audience) you idiots are on Lawler’s side and evidently the airplane people are on Lawler’s side ‘cause they informed him that I was coming here. Now, I’m gonna tell you something (holds chair up) I’m gonna take Lawler (punches the chair three times and it falls over the desk, Funk picks it up and then bashes himself in the head with the chair five times then pounds the chair on the announce table, then his head and then slams it to the floor). I’m the meanest man in professional wrestling.” 

Russell:                        “Okay, okay.” 

Funk:                “And I’m not only gonna show, I’m gonna take him out. I’m gonna take him out. I’m gonna take him, (Funk bends over in anger) I’m gonna take him out, not for a short time (grabs Russell by his pants leg) I’m gonna take him out.” 

Russell:                        “C’mon, please, hey…” 

Funk:                “I’ve moved here. I’m moving here. I’m not leaving. I am here from now on. This area is horse country, this area is horse country and believe me, I am gonna be the biggest stud around.” (Funk leaves and stalks around ringside.) 

Jos LeDuc with Lance Russell, 1978, taking a blood oath with an ax for his upcoming match against Jerry Lawler: 

LeDuc:             “I’m gonna tell you what I’m gonna do Jerry Lawler. (LeDuc’s head twitches.) You tell everybody how crazy I am. I’m gonna tell you I’m not that crazy. I’m gonna take an oath. You know what that is? Well, I’m gonna tell you what it is. In the lumber camp in Canada, when you do something very important, when you want to do something very important, you take an oath and you make a scar on your body somewhere to remind you, in case, you don’t do it and to remind you not to look at yourself in the mirror again. Never. Well, I’m gonna do it now, boy (rolls up elbow pad) I’m gonna show you punk. This is an ax and this is an arm. I’m gonna show you punk, I’m gonna cut my arm and if I don’t do what I tell you Monday night I’ll never be able to look at myself on the mirror as long as I live but I’m gonna do it. Now Jerry Lawler, you hear this (Lance Russell places his hand on his head). Jerry Lawler, you hear this, right now, Jerry Lawler, I’m gonna mess up your face and that’s the last match I’ll lose to you Jerry Lawler” (LeDuc cuts his arm with the ax and then yells.) 

Russell:                        “All right, Jos, come on.” 

LeDuc:             “All right, you see it right here. Look at it, boy. Now do me a favor, Jerry Lawler. Do not show up Monday night at that Coliseum because this scar is gonna get you hurt.” 

Jimmy Valiant, 1981 commenting on the challenge of Hector Guererro:  

“Guerrero, you couldn’t wake me up if I was sleeping.” 

Lance Russell and The Fabulous Freebirds: Terry Gordy & Michael Hayes, as the Freebirds make their Memphis TV debut, 1979: 

Russell:                        “Brand new team that we’ll have the opportunity to see a little later in our main event on Championship Wrestling today will feature not only the King and the Superstar but their opponents will be a team that is nationally, internationally known. They are in contention right now for the tag team championship of the world and it is a team that comes out of California. They call themselves the Fabulous Freebirds and I’m gonna bring in here right now, big, big team of Terry Gordy and Mike Hayes. (Gordy & Hayes enter the interview area in sparkling silver robes but Hayes has a towel on his head.) Terry Gordy and Mike Hayes as you can see. A couple of rather large gentlemen. Uh, this is Mike Hayes with a towel on, Terry Gordy…” 

Gordy:             “That’s right, baby, you know you’ve heard of Dusty Rhodes, Ric Flair and all the rest. Well, I’m here to introduce you to the best. You know my name is Terry Gordy. I weigh two hundred ninety pounds of rompin’ stompin’ graveyard destruction. I’m one half of the Fabulous Freebirds. And standing right here beside me is the other half. This is Michael Hayes. And I’m gonna unveil him today.” 

Russell:                        “Uh, okay. I wondered about that. Uh, yes.” 

Gordy:             “Right here on TV baby. This is the prettiest man in the world right here.” 

Russell:                        “Oh.” 

Gordy:             “And today, all you people out there, you’ll get a chance to see this pretty face, right here on TV, and believe me, I’ve seen my share of pretty women. I’ve probably seen your share (points to Russell). I’ve seen three or four other people’s share but this guy right here takes the cake. And you know I know there’s a lot of people out there such as Jerry Lawler and Bill Dundee who like to bend the rules a little bit but let me tell you something, you bend the rules and try to mess up this pretty face (points to Hayes) baby, I’ll hurt somebody. This guy can take care of himself well.” 

Russell:                        “Well, you’re gonna be in a tough match today.” 

Gordy:             “But don’t nobody mess with this pretty face. Believe me.” 

Russell:                        “All right, fine. I know you’re in contention. If you’re ready, we’re ready (points to Hayes). 

Gordy:             “Later on in the show. I’m gonna unveil this guy, right here on TV. So, I want all you people out there, I want you to get your brothers, your sisters, get your daddy, get ‘em all around the TV because you’re fixing to eyewitness something right here on TV today baby.” 

Russell:                        “Well, you’re looking at Michael Hayes, Terry Gordy, they are certainly one of the top teams in the nation and internationally, the Fabulous Freebirds, that’s who they are and we’ll be seeing them a little bit later.” 

Gordy:             “That’s right and this guy right here, you know he’s got prettier hair than Farrah Fawcett and he’s got more moves than John Travolta, baby.” 

Russell:                        “All right.” 

Gordy:             “Hey, he is one hundred and ten percent all man. You bet your boots on that Lance Russell.” 

Russell:                        “I don’t deny it Terry. We’ve heard of your reputation and we’ll have a chance to see you in action (Freebirds leave) as you will be seeing a little bit later the, uh, Fabulous Freebirds in action, Terry Gordy and Michael Hayes.” 

then later in the show: 

Lance Russell and Dave Brown with the Fabulous Freebirds: Terry Gordy & Michael Hayes, 1979: 

Russell:                        “Hey, why don’t we get going here.” (Lance reachesover and rings the bell.) 

Brown:             “Yeah.”

Russell:                        “Looking forward to this match coming up.” 

Brown:              “Big match. Been looking forward to this one all week. Tag team match.”

Russell:                        “The Superstar coming in here, his partner, the King. (Bill Dundee & Jerry Lawler enter the ring.) And Dave, they’re going against internationally known the Fabulous Freebirds. We had a little glimpse of ‘em, at least one of ‘em.” 

Brown:              “One of ‘em, yeah.” 

Russell:                        “Terry Gordy and his partner Michael Hayes. Here comes Gordy, big two hundred eighty five, two hundred ninety pounder and with him is Michael Hayes, still got the towel…” 

Gordy:             “That’s right. Do you think you’re ready for this baby?” 

Russell:                        “If you’re ready for it.” 

Gordy:             “Are all you people at home ready for this? (Camera work is all over the studio) Can you get a camera over here?  Hey, get a camera over here. You want me to come over there and run the camera?” 

Russell:                        “Hey, Terry, Terry, okay, we’re ready for it.” 

Gordy:              “Get a camera. Have you got all your friends, have you got all your neighbors around the TV? If you don’t, don’t say I didn’t warn you. Now before I do this I want all you women to sit down. Just have a seat and if you’re over sixty would you please leave the room? We don’t want to have no, no injuries around here. Uh, hey, can we get over here?” 

Russell:                        “Yeah, camera’s, uh, uh, we’re ready.” 

Gordy:             “Can I have this camera right here? If you couldn’t get a close-up of his face when I take it off…” 

Russell:                        “Terry Gordy in the direction business right now.” 

Gordy:             “Okay, when I take the towel off his head what I want you to do is just follow the towel.”

Russell:                        “Terry, come on back over here with me and introduce him if you will. Are you ready? We are ready, Michael Hayes.” 

Gordy:             “Okay, ready to go, the prettiest man in the world right here today, baby.” 

Russell:                        “Okay.” 

Gordy:             “You’re getting to see this right here on TV (begins to take the towel off Hayes’ head but stops). Uh, okay, wait. Are you sure you gotta a good shot now?” 

Russell:                        “They got a good shot, Terry. Believe it, they got a good shot.” 

Gordy:             “Okay, okay, just follow the towel up.” 

Russell:                        “Yeah, okay, okay.” 

Gordy:             “If you can’t do it I will.” 

Russell:                        “Terry, the directions are pretty clear I think they can handle it, okay?” 

Gordy:             “Okay, okay, here we go. (Gordy unveils Hayes.) 

Russell:                        “There it is, Michael Hayes, the other half of the Fabulous Freebirds.” 

Hayes:             “You look at it baby. You look at it. Prettier hair than Farrah Fawcett, more moves than John Travolta, (Lawler & Dundee are shown watching the interview from the ring) more romance than Robert Redford, baby. I could go on for days and weeks but we ain’t got all that time.” 

Russell:                        “That’s right.” 

Hayes:             “Now I want you women to sit down because I’m fixing to take off this million dollar robe, baby, and I don’t want you to have no heart attack or nothing. Now Terry, if you will assist me baby as I let it slide on down baby and you see this beautiful body. I want you to know that beauty has entered your television. Beauty has entered your home. Beauty has entered everywhere baby. Now let me introduce you. We are the Fabulous Freebirds. We are the greatest team in wrestling baby. We stop for nobody and we stop everybody. Every territory we’ve ever been to, now get that camera on this body. I want you to look at this hair. I want you to look at this face. I want you to know, I want you to remember the time and the place, baby, cause we are the hot childs of the city, he do run wild and I do look pretty and when we come to your town, if we ever do, I want you to know it’s gonna be a happening baby. It’s gonna be something. So, when we come to your town, we want you there."

Jimmy Hart, 1981, after Jerry Lawler injured Hart breaking Hart’s leg:  

“If I have to gain weight, if I have to gain forty-five more pounds to weigh two hundred pounds and come in the ring to get you, I promise I’ll do it.” 

Bobby Eaton, Tojo Yamamoto, The Great Togo with TV announcer Harry Thornton, 1980 on Harry’s final TV show, promoting an upcoming Chattanooga card in which Eaton & Yamamoto would face Jerry Barber & The Bounty Hunter and Togo would face Tony Atlas: 

Eaton:               “I hate to see you go, Harry Thornton but I’ve got a few things to say. First of all, what happened to Rocky Brewer? What happened to Rocky Brewer?” 

Thornton:                       “I, I can answer that. He has a dislocated shoulder.” 

Eaton:               “Yeah, you know why? Because my man right here gave him the big powerslam Harry Thornton and I came down with that elbow on him. He can not take it. And now, you’re seeing the new NWA, managed by Tojo Yamamoto, the Mid-America tag team champions, Harry Thornton, the Mid-America tag team champions. Right now, I want to say to everybody in Chattanooga, tonight, you’re gonna get to see some first class, some first class you ain’t never seen right here in the Japanese Connection. Jerry Barber and the Bounty Hunter. Jerry Barber, you’ve been down at Dyersburg, Tennessee on a one year drunk. A one year drunk, he’s been on.” 

Thornton:                       “Now, Bobby, come on.” 

Eaton:               “He hasn’t been on no journey. He’s been on a drunk. He’s a lowdown sot. And that Bounty Hunter, he don’t look like no bounty hunter. You know what he is? He’s a women’s purse snatcher. That’s what he is, a purse snatcher. (Thornton rolls his eyes) Tell ‘em Tojo.” 

Thornton:                       “Now that, that’s pretty low to call a man those things.” 

Eaton:               “He’s a low down drunk.” 

Yamamoto:              “Harry, I tell you, I back up Bobby-san one hundred percent because what Bobby says is true because Bobby don’t tell liar. Bobby just like the Japanese and the Japanese, you know, we don’t tell liar, we tell the truth. And Bobby…” 

Thornton:                       “You’re just telling one right there when you say that. You’re telling a lie right there.” 

Eaton:               “Hey, Harry, don’t you call him a liar.” 

Yamamoto:                “Don’t call me a liar.” 

Eaton:               “Don’t call him a liar.” 

Yamamoto:                “Don’t call us a liar.” 

Thornton:                       “I’ll call you a liar if I want to. Don’t threaten me with either one of your punks.” 

Eaton:               “Just because you’re leaving, today’s your last day, you can’t run over my man right here.” 

Thornton:                       “I can get a chair and run over him though.” (Crowd cheers.) 

Yamamoto:              “I tell you, if this is your last day…” 

Thornton:                       “I’ve put up with you…(points at Yamamoto) 

Yamamoto:              “I tell you what, I put you in a funeral home.” 

Thornton:                       “I’ve put up with you for years and I’m glad this is the last time I have to see your ugly face.” 

Yamamoto:                “My ugly face? Harry, I want to tell you something, today’s your last day. I wish you all the luck and I want to send you sympathy card. You understand? And I tell you, you can tell Jerry Barber, too, that hog jaws, and that Bounty Hunter, the carrot nose. I tell you what, me and Bobby-san, we’re gonna beat them up. And I wanna talk about the Great Togo. Great Togo told me to tell all the Japanese, all his family. He’s gonna get Tony Atlas and he’s gonna really bleed.” 

Eaton:               “Tony Atlas, Harry Thornton, all Tony Atlas needs is a one between his nose Harry Thornton.” (Eaton holds up fist.Togo grabs the microphone and begins a tirade in Japanese. Thornton looks at the camera and shrugs his shoulders.) 

Yamamoto:                “You know what he said Harry? He said you’re ugly and stupid and he said he wants to give you a sympathy card, too.” 

Thornton:                       “If I was as ugly as he is, I’d walk backwards.” 

Eaton:               “We wanna say Tony Atlas, you come over here with your big muscles and everything but all the muscles you got is your mouth. (Thornton pulls the microphone away and begins to turn from Eaton, Yamamoto and Togo.) Bye, Harry. (Eaton pats Thornton on the back as Harry sits down.) 

Thornton:                       “Good luck.” 

Eaton:               “See you later, Harry.” (Eaton shakes Thornton’s hand.) 

Thornton:                       “Okay, Bobby, good luck. Sorry to see you in such bad company. (Thornton rings the bell. Tojo and Bobby Eaton continuing talking but are inaudible.) Get on back there in the back where you belong before I lose my temper you little slant eyed. I’ve put up with him for twenty years and I’m glad that’s over.” 

Gulas TV announcer Harry Thornton, 1980, after a heel Bobby Eaton promo:  

“To think I used to like that guy.” 

Tojo Yamamoto, 1981, after winning the Southern tag titles with Wayne Farris:  

“Mister Lance Russell, I want to tell you, you listen. You listen real good all you people. He’s, uh, what, Dream Machine? I don’t call him no Dream Machine. You know what his real name is? Septic Tank Machine.” 

The Blonde Bombers: Larry Latham & Wayne Farris with manager Danny Davis and Lance Russell, 1980, after a match against Bill Dundee & Tony Boyles, in which Latham, Farris & Davis destroyed Dundee & Boyles and then leveled Eddie Marlin and Jerry Jarrett: 

Farris:               “Just what does it take Lance Russell? What’s it gonna take, huh?” 

Russell:                        “I’ll tell ya’ what it’s gonna take. They took…” 

Farris:               “You tell me, first, it’s Buddy Fuller. Fuller stuck his nose in. I beat his brains out. Now fast Eddie Marlin come out here, that toothless wonder. He stuck his nose in and now it’s Jerry Jarrett. What more is it gonna take? How much of a mystery can we stand, Lance Russell?” 

Russell:                        “I tell ya’ what, I just…” 

Davis:               “You don’t tell us anything Lance Russell, ‘cause we don’t listen to you. We don’t like you. You stick your nose into our business and we don’t like it.” 

Farris:               “For a long time, Lance Russell, for over three years now, I’ve been wanting to get my hands on Jerry Jarrett. He’s sitting behind that big desk of his, with his feet all propped up saying ‘Wayne Farris, you go here. You’re booked here. You’re booked there.’ And I said, ‘Well, Jerry Jarrett, I don’t like to be booked there’ and he made me go anyway. And I want to squeeze him and I want to squeeze that little neck of his and I’m gonna do it, Lance Russell. We want a match.” 

Davis:               “That’s right, that’s right, we’re demanding it!” 

Farris:               “We want him and that little jerk friend of his, the number one stooge in the ring.” 

Davis:               “Get out here, you bunch of cowards.” 

Russell:                        “Hey, c’mon, you guys have had all the matches you need.”

Davis:               “You’re a coward, you’re a gutless wonder. You’re a gutless wonder if you don’t get out here.” 

Russell:                        “Just hey…” 

Davis:               “And they’re no better than you are, Lance Russell, no better than you are.” 

Jimmy Hart to Tojo Yamamoto after Yamamoto offered $300 to Lance Russell to arrange a match for his men Masa Fuchi & Mr. Onita, 1981:  

“Tojo, is that all the money you got? Man, that’s a joke. Three hundred? You can’t even get to Tupelo, Mississippi on three hundred dollars anymore.” 

Tojo Yamamoto and The Manchurians with TV announcer Harry Thornton, 1980: 

Thornton (sitting): “Now what?” 

Yamamoto:                 “Get up.” (Yamamoto has a short pipe.) 

Thornton:                       “I don’t feel like getting up. You want to talk, talk into the microphone.” 

Yamamoto:              “Get up old man. You, you, you respect me and my Manchurians.” 

Thornton:                       “Not in this, not in the slightest. You wanna, you wanna say something, say it.” 

Yamamoto:                “What’s a matter, you afraid?” 

Thornton:                       “Am I afraid of you? (Thornton laughs.) You been out in the rain, you’re hat’s soaked up a little far on your head. If you got anything to say, say it. (Thornton stands.) If it makes you feel better, now let’s, whatever you got to say, spit it out.” 

Yamamoto:              “Spat it out or spit it out?” 

Thornton:                       “Either way you want to.” 

Yamamoto:                 “You want that I spit in your face?” 

Thornton:                       “I don’t think you’re big enough to try it. (Yamamoto turns to speak to the Manchurians.) All right, if you’re gonna, (Thornton sits back down) we’ll ring the bell unless you want to talk. If you’ve got something to say, say it.” 

Yamamoto:              “Well Harry Thornton, I want you to see my Manchurians.” 

Thornton:                       “I saw them in the ring awhile ago.” 

Yamamoto:              “They’re big and strong.” 

Thornton:                       “Big men, that’s right.” 

Yamamoto:               “Very, very intelligent. Very, very wonderful. Greatest tag team in the country, you understand? They’ve been all over Europe. All over. My, they’ve, they’ve went all over the country, you understand?” 

Thornton:                       “Yes, I understand English about as well as you do.” 

Yamamoto:                “Understand?” 

Thornton:                       “Yeah.” 

Yamamoto:                “And I tell you what, they told me they come here to join me, my Japanese Connection camp. They, they, they very happy to be in my Japanese camp right now. And they’re very happy to be joining the Great Togo and the Bobby Eaton and many, many more surprise I’m going bring for you.” 

Thornton:                       “You got a corner on the market, so to speak, don’t you?” 

Yamamoto:                “What you mean?” 

Thornton:                       “All these guys working for you.” 

Yamamoto:              “Oh no, they all come to me because I am the greatest and very, very intelligent manager for them.” 

Thornton:                       “I’ll have to admit that you are pretty smart. I’ll give you that. It hurts me to say it.” 

Yamamoto:              “It hurts you? Why it hurt?” 

Thornton:                       “Yeah, saying things…” 

Yamamoto:              “The truth, everything that truth hurt Harry, understand? You don’t have brain, why it hurts? (Thornton shakes his head.) I have the brains, you understand, Harry? That’s why I told you long time before Harry. (Yamamoto touches Thornton with the pipe.) 

Thornton:                       “Get that pipe off my hand.” 

Yamamoto:              “You sleep. I don’t sleep. When you try to make money, you go to sleep and we don’t go to sleep. Look at these boys, they don’t go to sleep. Twenty four hours a day. They’re…”

Thornton:                       “Okay, we’ve heard enough.” 

Yamamoto:              “That’s why my boys told me that American wrestler…(Thornton rings the bell.) 

Thornton:                       “You’re through. We’re gonna take a little break right here and go away and we’ll be right back.” 

Jimmy Valiant, 1978:  

“I just wanna say something to all my ladies out there. Just be cool, baby, lay back, don’t jump outta them panty hose and dig it, daddy.” 

The Dream Machine, Jimmy Hart and Bugsy McGraw with Lance Russell, 1981, after Machine turned heel by attacking Lawler on TV: 

Russell:                        “What in the samhill is this Dream?” 

Machine:                       “TCB. TCB. Taking care of business. Graveyard diggin’ and a-coffin buyin’, long time weepin’ and the family cryin’ because all the king’s horses, all the king’s men can’t put the king back together again, if you know what I’m talkin’ about.” 

Russell:                        “Well, cut all that garbage out. What in the samhill you…” 

Machine:                       “Well, I’m tryin’ to tell you if you’d shut up long enough so I can tell you. Let me tell you something, every time it come down the pike. Every time something took place. Title shots. Championship matches. It’s always Lawler and Dundee, Lawler and Dundee. But this man right here [Jimmy Hart] gave me the greatest chance to be on top right off the bat against Jerry Lawler and you know one other thing, this right here bring it all down to a screeching halt if you know what I’m talkin’ about, baby. Because ten thousand people, ten thousand people watching said ‘Don’t take your mask off, Dream,’ the only thing I held with value, my mask. Said ‘Don’t take it off, baby, don’t take it off’ and then who, out of all people, Lance Russell, you the Dream Machine, who comes out and holds up a towel and says, ‘Oh, it’s all right, Dream, go ahead and take it off.’ Jerry Lawler, shame me one more time. But you know something, (laughs) all the king’s horses and all the king’s men can’t put the king back together again because I am that man who walks that barbed wire fence, thirty two thousand miles barefooted…” (Machine continues to speak but turns away from the mic) 

Russell:                        “Okay.” 

Machine:                       “Big man, we are here to stay, brother, and not to play, you know what I’m sayin’. Graveyard diggin’, coffin buyin’, long time weepin’ and the family cryin’.” 

McGraw:                       “Time to get serious baby.” 

Russell:                        “Okay.”

 Hart:                             “Because we are family, all my brothers and sisters with me.” 

Russell:                        “I’m telling you Dream, he’ll get ya’. He’ll get you before it’s over with.” 

Jimmy Hart, 1981:  

“I’m sitting back there in the back and I said, ‘You better come out here and liven this thing up.’” 

Kevin Sullivan, 1981 with fellow Southern tag champion Wayne Farris and manager Jimmy Hart: 

Sullivan:                        “You know how you tell a bride at a southern wedding?”

Hart:                             “How’s that, baby?” 

Sullivan:                        “She’s the one with the clean tee-shirt on.” 

Jimmy Valiant, 1981, to Bill Dundee:  

“Dundee, your legs are so short that you wear out the seat of your pants just walking around.” 

Tommy & Eddie Gilbert with Lance Russell, 1979, interrupted by Buddy & Ken Wayne: 

Russell:                        “Here they are, Tommy Gilbert and his son, Eddie. Tommy always good to see you. (Russell and Tommy shake hands.) Eddie. (Russell and Eddie shake hands.) Uh, the situation, I know one of the happiest things in your life was the interest that Eddie took in the ring and followed in the footsteps and it must have been a real thrill when you started working together as a tag team actually in the ring, but it’s kinda taken a little sour note, as jealousy has kind of worked it’s way from another father-son team.” 

Tommy:                        “You’re right, Lance and a lot of times things like that happen, you know. And nobody could be any prouder of their kids whenever they want to be something they can do their best. But, you know, Buddy is, uh, man, he’s become unreal, you know. I couldn’t believe that the man could be like this. But I want to tell Buddy one thing since he looked like he’s turned over a new leaf and he don’t want to be the man I thought he was. Buddy, I’m telling you straight to your face now, man, you told me not to call you Hog Jowls. I’ll call you Hog Jowls or anything else I want to, anytime, day of the week that I want to. And I’ll tell you what man, whenever we get in the ring, I told you not to lay a hand on my kid. I told you I’d beat your brains out if you did and that’s exactly what I’ll do because we’ll be in there, Buddy and whenever we do, I’m gonna do exactly that. I’ll deflate them jaws and there could be a lot of you that could be deflated Buddy. But the main thing is that I just want you, that’s all. As far as your kid goes, I don’t want to lay a hand on him. I’m gonna do to him what you should have done ten or twelve years ago. I’m gonna pull his tights down and paddle his butt real good and teach him a little manners.” 

Russell:                        “Well, it’s obvious that being two fathers… (crowd roars as Buddy & Ken Wayne approach the interview area) Okay, hey, Buddy, no fights. Let’s, no, no fights.” 

Buddy:             “No, no, uh, Lance, no, after what happened in this match recently, I been doing a lot of thinking and I want to come out here publicly. I want to apologize, first, to you, Lance, we’ve been friends for a long time. I done something that was wrong. I want to apologize to the people in the studio. Also, to the people that’s watching it and most of all, I want to apologize to Eddie and Tommy because what I done last week I just got carried away. The most important thing to me was Ken winning and what I did was wrong and  what I want to do Tommy, just, just forget what happened and I apologize to you now and just forget the matches we’ve got coming up. Just forget ‘em. Just, I’d like to just cancel the match.” 

Russell:                        “I think…” 

Tommy:                        “Buddy, I want to tell you something. You said, forget the match. No, we won’t forget the match. Eddie and I will be out there to wrestle and that’s exactly what we’ll do. Until the first time you make a move, Buddy and I’m telling you now right to your face, I’ll beat your brains out if you lay a hand on him [Eddie].” 

Buddy:             “Okay (offers to shake hands with Tommy), I just, I want to forget what we done. Just shake hands and forget what I done.” 

Tommy:                        “I’ll (shakes Buddy’s hand) shake hands with you but I’m telling you now…” 

Russell:                        “It’s, uh…” 

Tommy:                        “…just exactly, we’ll see you in the ring, Buddy.” 

Russell:                        “Okay, well, the, uh (crowd roars as Buddy jumps Tommy and Ken jumps Eddie) c’mon, ooh, come on, Eddie, break it up there. Hey you guys, save that for the ring. C’mon. Buddy Wayne has handcuffed Tommy Gilbert to the ringpost over there. Hey, come on. Let’s get this thing stopped. Get somebody out here. The Waynes with Tommy Gilbert handcuffed over to the ring. The Waynes. That’s a great apology, that’s all I can say. Can we get somebody out here to get this thing stopped. The Waynes pound away on Eddie Gilbert while Tommy Gilbert, (to Tommy) I can’t help it, Tommy, I can’t get the things undone. He locked ‘em on there. (Buddy taunts Tommy) Hey, come on, Buddy, just get out. You guys get out of the ring. Hey, okay, Buddy, you’re asking for it. They busted, Tommy. (Some wrestlers enter the ring) Koko Ware and Dallas Montgomery, coming out here and Buddy Wayne shoulderblocked ‘em before they ever got in the ring. All right. (to Tommy) Hey, Tommy, I can’t get ‘em undone, he’s got ‘em locked around there, man. There’s nothing I can do about it. (Randy Tyler hits the ring.) Here comes Randy Tyler out. Good, get ‘em out of here. (As Buddy and Ken leave, Buddy taunts Tommy.) Yeah, just get on out of here, Buddy.” 

J.J. Dillion, 1982, interrupting a Bill Dundee interview:  

“Will the floor director get a telephone directory or something out here for this man to stand on so we can see him?” 

Jim Cornette and Dutch Mantell with Lance Russell, 1982, as Cornette presents a gift to Mantel but after a videotape had aired showing Cornette causing Mantel a match: 

Cornette:                       “Lance, I’ve got a special presentation I’d like to make. Now as you know Dutch has been with me now for a week. And I must say, we’ve gotten to be quite good friends and I wanted to present, if I could. If the cameraman can get a shot of this, this beautiful portrait of myself and Dutch as a token of my esteem and friendship to me for signing with me…” 

Russell:                        “Oh yeah.” 

Cornette:                       “…and for being such a great champion that he is.” 

Russell:                        “And it says (reading the inscription on the portrait) ‘To my good buddy Dutchie, Jimmy Cornette.’ Well…” 

Mantel:                         “You know Lance, I’m (puffing on a small cigar) really excited today. I haven’t been this excited since I divorced my first old lady but I’m really excited today and you know why? I’m excited because of this man here. He is a million laughs. He’s a laugh-a-minute. Being with this guy is like being at Chick’s Pizza twenty four hours a day and you know a lot of people have said that Dutch you and Jimmy Cornette, you just don’t seem compatible but I think the reason we don’t seem compatible is they just don’t know a lot about Jimmy. And you know, he said we signed a contract last week. Well, in essence, we didn’t sign it last week and why didn’t we sign it last week, Jimmy? Because I said we should do it on TV on public television so that we could be up front with it and, and, and so people would think there’s nothing under the table. And the people, I know we look funny, I know we look like John Wayne and Ted Turner out here but you people go ahead and laugh because we’re gonna set the wrestling world on it’s head. Now Jimmy, you know how I feel about certain things. And I think the reason the people may not like you so much is because they don’t know how you feel about certain things. So, I’m gonna ask you to tell the people at home exactly how you feel. And I’m gonna ask you a few questions and I want you to tell these people at home, okay, how you feel. (Cornette nods his head in agreement.) Jimmy, I’d like to ask you a question and tell the people, do you drink?” 

Cornette:                       “No, Dutch, I don’t drink.” 

Mantel:                         “See, he doesn’t drink. He don’t drink anything. Jimmy, do you like to stay out late at night and get surly and start fights or anything like that? Do you like to do that?” 

Cornette:                       “No, I try to stay in, ten or eleven at night at the latest and I don’t like to…” 

Mantel:                         “He, he, he don’t stay out late at night. He keeps regular hours. Right, Jimmy? Very important question, you don’t take drugs or snort cocaine like them NFL football players do, you don’t do that do you?” 

Cornette:                       “No, I don’t Dutch, now you know that.” 

Mantel:                         “He don’t do any of that. He lives a clean life, right? You live a clean life, Jimmy.” 

Cornette:                       “Dignity.” 

Mantel:                         “You don’t smoke or chew tobacco, do you?” (Mantel takes a draw off his cigar.) 

Cornette:                       “No, that’s a filthy habit.” 

Mantel:                         “See, he says that is a filthy habit. Filthy, filthy. Jimmy, I’d like to say one thing, you don’t like to get up early in the morning and watch cartoons like Bugs Bunny or Yosemite Sam, you don’t like to do any of that do you?” 

Cornette:                       “I watch Richard Simmons, uh, in the morning when I get a chance.” 

Mantel:                         “He watches Richard Simmons. Now you people have seen how compatible Jimmy and I are. And, Jimmy, you got the pen?” 

Cornette:                       “Yes, I do, Dutch.” 

Mantel:                         “You got the contract?” 

Cornette:                       “This is a big day in my life, Lance.” 

Mantel:                         “Big day in your life, baby. Big, big day in Jimmy Cornette’s life. Let me see that pen baby.” 

Russell:                        “We got a public signing right here.” 

Cornette:                       “We’ve got a contract and a public signing and this is the first step, Lance.” 

Mantel:                         “Jimmy, you see this pen?” 

Cornette:                       “Yes sir.”

Mantel:                         “Well this could change your life, you know that? It could make you a very famous man, you know that?” 

Cornette:                       “I know that.” 

Mantel:                         “And with this pen, Lance, it’s one small step for man but one giant step for wrestling and Jimmy, I’d just like to take this pen and break it like this (Mantel breaks the pen) and take this contract and tear it up (Mantell rips the contract up) ‘cause you are the last man in the world, buddy, that I would want to manage me because here, you take that (hands ripped up contract to Cornette) and stick it where the sun don’t shine. I want to tell you one thing buddy, I made a mistake…” 

Cornette:                       “Now, what…” 

Mantel:                         “Shut up, I made a mistake when I had you come out but I’m man enough to say I made a mistake and the only difference between me and Lawler, I’m not above, buddy, taking you for a few dollars and that’s what I did. You see this picture, Jimmy? You see this picture right here? (Mantel rips the portrait up and hands half of it to Cornette) That’s your half right there and this is mine.” 

Cornette:                       “Dutch, you can’t do this to me. I put a lot of money into…” 

Mantel:                         “You’re fired, Cornette.” 

Cornette:                       “I put a lot of money into you, I put a lot of money on him, Lance.” 

Jimmy Hart challenging Jerry Calhoun, 1982:  

“You’ll think that cane baby is an all day sucker because I’m gonna cram it down your throat.” 

Jimmy Hart with Lance Russell, 1981, after Hart won the Southern title from Jerry Lawler: 

Russell:                        “I have no intention of congratulating this particular champion, uh, we’re talking about the new AWA Southern heavyweight champion Jimmy Hart, who, uh, took that title from Jerry the King Lawler, and uh, so we will follow our practice and here is the new Southern heavyweight champion I say jokingly. It’s a laugh, you…” 

Hart:                             “Jokingly, huh?” 

Russell:                        “Sets the whole Southern heavyweight thing back fifteen years with that farce match that you had in there.” 

Hart:                             “Well, let me just say something right now, ladies and gentlemen, you’re looking at the new Southern heavyweight champion. (Crowd jeers.) Let’s hear, well, that’s right, you love me, don’t you? Well, you know what? I feel so good. You know in music I had a gold record. Right? And now in wrestling, this is the best, this, hey look the cameramen are so asleep they can’t even get a shot of the belt. (Hart takes title belt off and holds it up.) Here boys, let me help you out. Look at this jewel baby. It’s Jimmy Hart forever. I am the Southern heavyweight champion and I’m gonna stay the Southern heavyweight champion. What do you think about that, Russell?” 

Russell:                        “Well, I hear you talking, Jimmy, but that dutton really have anything to do with the fact that the way you won it in a complicated loaded match, it was incredible that it should have been but you do have the Southern heavyweight belt, you’ve added that to the Family collection.” 

Hart:                             “Well, let me just say this, the Family is the greatest thing that ever happened in professional wrestling. I am the greatest thing to ever happen to professional wrestling. Lawler is finished. He’s washed up. You know once there was a Jackie Fargo and he was sitting high on the crown here in town and everybody thought he was the greatest thing and then came along a smart punk by the name of Jerry Lawler and he knocked him right off. Well, now, Lawler, your days is come, brother, because there’s a smart punk on the scene named Jimmy Hart. I am the new Southern weight [sic] champion. You don’t even have enough fans anymore, baby to pack a phone booth and that’s all I got to say.” 

Bobby Eaton, 1982, taunting the debuting Jacques Rougeau:  

“Come on, Jacques Cousteau, get in the ring now.” 

Terry & Eddie Boulder with Lance Russell, 1979, promoting their upcoming Memphis match against Outlaw Ron Bass & Pete Austin: 

Russell:                        “And coming in right with me, whoa, the big Hulk and Eddie Boulder. We, er, are of course, delighted to have you guys here. I know you had something a little more, a little more serious than the things we’re planning for the fans this week. You got Bass and Austin.” 

The Hulk:                      “Oh, yeah. I’d like to talk about Mr. Bass for a minute. Uh, one of the most tragic events of his life is just about to take place this Monday when I get my hands on him. There’s just been a little bit of a problem. Where we come from, there’s a bad junkyard dog in Port Tampa, you know and he was always beating on the little dogs and biting on their ears and everything and all of a sudden, a little bit bigger dog came along and last Monday in Memphis, my brother dropped so many eyes, I mean so many elbows on, uh, Mr. Bass’ head that his eyes kinda look goofy grape. Well, now Mr. Bass is running scared because the big dog is on him. Well, there’s just a little bit bigger dog that’s after you and that’s me. And this Monday night in Memphis, daddy, when I get a-hold of you, Mr. Bass, I’m gonna take you and bury your head right in the mat, brother. I’m gonna teach you a little bit of a wrestling lesson and a little respect for these good people around here. I’m gonna put the Super Southern Squeeze on you, daddy and when I get done with you, brother, I’m gonna squeeze all that meanness out of you and all those bad ways you have and I’m gonna turn you over to these people in Memphis and let them whip on you a little bit after you’re down and out. That’s a promise I’m gonna make to everybody here and I’m gonna have my running shoes on so if you plan on running one more time from me, I’m coming after you. If I catch you in the dressing room, I’m gonna drag you all the way back to the ring.” 

Russell:                        “There’s a lot of folks I don’t want mad at me but this is the one that I for sure don’t want mad at me. The Hulk and his brother, Eddie Boulder, will be there Monday night. Good luck down there guys.” 

JJ Dillion, 1982, needling Bill Dundee:  

“If you’re gonna come out here and engage me in a battle of wits, you’re coming out here totally unarmed.” 

Nick Gulas, Phil Hickerson and Dennis Condrey, 1977, Chattanooga, TN house show promo: 

Gulas:               “Mr. Condrey, you and Hickerson are gonna be searched because last week y’all used some kind of object on Bill Dundee and…” 

Condrey:                       “Nick Gulas, I don’t know who told you we used something on Bill Dundee. Bill Superstar Dundee. Now where in the world did he get a name ‘superstar’? He ain’t nothing but a falling star, baby. That’s all you are, a falling star. You’re no superstar.” 

Gulas:               “I tell you one thing, they’re out to win them belts tonight right here at the Memorial Auditorium and you fellows…” 

Hickerson:                     “Nick Gulas, every time you book a match with me and Condrey, we’re the champs. Everybody wants them belts. So let me tell you something, there’s not a team that’s gonna take them belts, so me and Condrey are the true champs, Nick Gulas. You envy us Nick Gulas!” 

Gulas:               “No, I don’t envy you.” 

Hickerson:                     “Yes, you do. You come up with your little quest to beat us but baby you ain’t got the two yet and there ain’t nobody because we’re the king of that rock up there, baby. We are the kings up there.” 

Gulas:               “Phil Hickerson, you know good and well if you hadn’t used that object on that, on Bill Dundee last week they would have won them belts and you, you know that good and well. Tonight, you’re gonna be searched by one of the police before you get in that ring and you ain’t gonna be able to carry anything in there.” 

Hickerson:                     “You know when a policeman searches a man it’s just like being a convict.” 

Gulas:               “Nah, no, no.” 

Hickerson:                     “You know that that’s just like being a convict, Nick Gulas.” 

Gulas:               “Not necessarily but I tell you one thing…”

 Hickerson:                     “Dundee, Dundee and them may know how it feels to be frisked but I don’t.” 

Gulas:               “Yeah, well, you’re gonna find out tonight. I tell you that so all you fans right here in Chattanooga, don’t forget that’s tonight right here in the Memorial Auditorium. Eight big matches headlined by the big grudge Mid-America tag championship match. It’ll carry no time limit, no disqualification and one of the police will search Phil Hickerson and Dennis Condrey when they put the title on the line against the outstanding team of Bill Dundee and uh, Ricky Gibson. Plus, seven other matches. See you at the Memorial Auditorium. First match is at 7:30.” 

Bill Dundee, 1979, after Jerry Lawler turned heel in a match against Dundee and ended up receiving a shot at AWA champion Nick Bockwinkel:  

“You know Dave, Jerry Jarrett’s my friend. He called me and said ‘Bill,’ he said, ‘I’ll book the match anyway you want it.’ He said ‘But don’t go in there and wrestle Lawler.’ He said ‘Cause he’s not gonna wrestle you. The guy’s not your friend. He’s a jerk.’ He said ‘I’m trying to tell you that.’ I said ‘No he’s not. All he needs is me to wrestle him and to beat him then he’ll respect me and be my friend.’ But I discovered something Lawler. You can’t lose what you never had. You never was my friend. You told me lies going up and down the road. You conned me in your car, brother, you’d sleep in the backseat and I’d drive. That’s how much of a friend I was to you. When you could use me, I was your friend. When you figured you was through with me, I wasn’t your friend. I went in there to wrestle you and you beat me, brother. Took a chain and a pair of brass knucks to do it but you beat me. You stood there with your hand in the air and you’re gonna wrestle Nick Bockwinkel. But let me tell you something, jerk, Pillsbury dough boy, there’s another day coming and it’s gonna be the Superstar’s day.” 

Andy Kaufman, 1982, after entering the TV studio to a chorus of boos:  

“Look, I am from Hollywood. I don’t have to come slumming. I’m doing a local, this is a local show. I only do network shows. Okay? I don’t do local shows. When I come out here I’m giving the fans a taste of stardom from Hollywood and I don’t have to put up with this. Okay? You better tell them to shut up or I’ll leave. I’ll walk right outta here.” 

Ric Flair, 1982, after his TV match against Jerry Lawler:  

“I came out here out of the goodness of my heart. I flew my Lear jet in here out of the goodness of my heart and you country bumpkins, you rednecks tried to put something over on Mr. Cool. No way daddy, not today anyway.” 

Nick Gulas, Ripper Collins and Luke Graham, promoting a Chattanooga May 1977 house show: 

Gulas:               “Mr. Collins, you and Mr. Graham today on this TV, if the fans haven’t seen they will see where you fellows beat a boy unmercifully, Mark Roberts. You jumped on him on the stretcher when we was carrying that boy to the dressing room and if I hadn’t sent Ken Lucas in there, y’all’d have crippled Don Greene. But I tell you one thing, Lucas and Greene have a score to settle with y’all tonight.” 

Collins:                         “Let me tell you something, Mr. Gulas, do me a favor and do everybody else a favor and from now on, don’t stick your nose in our business. We told you that we are just getting started and Ken Lucas has got no business sticking his nose in any match that Luke and I are in. Now if you Don Greene and somebody else can’t take care of themselves that’s not our fault. I can tell you this, we are just getting started and tonight, Lucas, you and Don Greene, whose name will be Don Red after tonight because that’s the color he’s gonna be, you ain’t seen nothin’ yet. The King and the Fabulous One are just getting started and when it’s all over there’s only gonna be two of us out there and that’s me and my partner, tell ‘em, Lukey, babe.” 

Graham:                        “Ken Lucas, you of all people know that we don’t talk idly, baby. You know what happened to you already. Now you got Mean Don Greene in there. He’s gonna get hurt too. We’re gonna start breaking bodies.” 

Gulas:               “Well, we’ll see tonight wrestling fans.” 

Jackie Fargo, 1977, promoting a May Chattanooga house show as he puts his hair on the line against the Mid-America title held by The Masked Executioner:  

“The people here on TV have seen exactly what’s happened. I don’t say that I’m not worried over this match. And I don’t say that I’m gonna win but I’ll say this, if you’re gonna shave these goldy-locks, this bleached hair, palie, you’re gonna have to pack your best wallop. I had my hair shaved once, about two, three years ago and it could possibly happen again but I don’t think so ‘cause like I said if he’s gonna shave my hair, I’m man enough to sit there and let ‘em shave it off if he does beat me but you better bring your best hold and your best wallop, Mr. Executioner because I’m gonna take the belt away from you.” 

Sterling Brewer, voice-over at the end of most Nick Gulas TV shows during the late 1970s:  

“This has been Championship Studio Wrestling, promoted by Nick Gulas and sanctioned by the NWA, recognized the world over. Join us again next week for Championship Studio Wrestling.” 

NEXT MONTH: 

Quotable Memphis, 1983-1989 including quips from Eddie Gilbert, Jonathan Boyd, The Fabulous Ones, Jackie Fargo, Ronnie Gossett, Jim Cornette and more.

Special Thanks