Lance Russell and Sputnik Monroe, 1988, as Monroe and old rival Billy Wicks had come back in for a few matches in the area:

Russell:  “Well, we mentioned Billy [Wicks]. Here comes a guy whose name is synonymous with Championship Wrestling and we’re talking about Sputnik Monroe.”

Monroe:  “Pleasure to see you again, Lance.”

Russell:  “Good to see you, Sputnik.”

Monroe:  “I’m absolutely behooved that my little opponent, Billy Wicks, is gonna wrestle in Jonesboro, Arkansas tonight.”

Russell:  “Yeah, how ‘bout that? What do you think about that?”

Monroe:    “ I don’t have very great thoughts on it. You know every lead man and every guitar has to have a rhythm man and Billy Wicks’ claim to fame is being my rhythm man, you know?”

Russell:  “Oh really?”

Monroe:  “Everybody has to have to work out. You gotta have a punching bag. He wore glasses thick as Coke bottle bottoms. You know if you whip a guy until he becomes, just think about this ignorant, you whip somebody until they become a policeman, now and then they retire from that and start blowing a juice harp, they’ve had some real, real buttkickings in their lifetime.”

Russell:  “Well, I expect that Billy can still get around the ring.’

Monroe:  “There’s a lot, I give you a lot of credit. I have the utmost esteem and respect for you, Lance Russell. You’re probably the greatest wrestling announcer in the world and I’m around you in another occupation and I really enjoy that but some people when you and I have forewarned and told people ‘watch your ignorance gland’, you know do this or do this. I foresee this and they don’t pay any attention. It’s an insult to your intelligence.”

Russell:   “Well.”

Monroe:   “I was on Beale Street last night. There’s no shoeshine boys. They got the plastic Beale Street down there so I’ll probably have to straighten that out. I’m gonna straighten out wrestling. And Wicks, don’t be surprised if I slip into Jonesboro tonight and say ‘Hello’. And Bill, go ahead and consolidate Memphis. It needs it.” 

Tommy Rich, 1986, after he and Jerry Lawler had just engaged in a studio brawl with Dirty Rhodes, Don Bass & Larry Wright: 

“Somebody say somethin’ ‘bout fired up?” 

Lance Russell and the wheelchair-bound Troy Graham, manager of the Masked Interns, 1985, as Graham promotes an upcoming Interns match against the team of Steve Constance & Tim Ashley:

Russell:   “Well, the crowd, a reception for the Interns and you know what kind. Coming up Monday night, Mid-South Coliseum, you’re gonna have to be facing a team that won a little bit earlier, Constance and Ashley, a couple of big strong men.”

Graham:    “That’s the only match they’ve ever won, baby. It’s gonna be a graveyard diggin’ and a coffin buyin’, a long time weepin’ and a family cryin’. Constance and Ashley? That’s a joke, man. Where is the Fabs? Where is Stan Lane and Steve Keirn? I tell you just exactly where they’re at, baby. You’re running scared. Those belts are rightfully ours. We should be the Southern heavyweight champions, Lance. We was robbed of our titles. Now they’re running. They won’t put ‘em up for thirty days, baby. When we was champions, we took on all comers, you understand what I’m saying because my men’ve got an armful of muscle and a headful of curls, we wrestle with the fellows and thrill the girls. The two ton trucks with the velvet king, the Interns are the men I mean. A graveyard disposition and a tombstone mind, two big white mother’s sons that don’t mind dying. Constance and Ashley, we’re gonna go through you like a dose of salt through a widow woman, baby, you understand what I’m saying? We’re gonna drop you like yesterday’s garbage, baby because we go on through the sleet and snow and driving rain to the forty below in Bangor, Maine (Russell looks at the camera and rolls his eyes) to a hundred and ten in the Texas sun, there ain’t no road that the Interns ain’t run, you understand what I’m saying? I’m wired to the max, baby. I’m ready for Monday night. Constance and Ashley, we’re gonna drop you, baby, like yesterday’s garbage.” 

Adrian Street, 1985, promoting an upcoming tag match pitting himself and Mr. Wrestling (a masked Tommy Gilbert) against the Batten Twins:

“I don’t care who I wrestle. You know I’m an international star. I’ve been champion in thirty-seven different countries. I couldn’t care less who I wrestle. And as far as I’m concerned, these twins, I can understand why they’re so popular amongst these, uh, amongst these peasants. Have you seen the way these peasants sort of carry on? Chewing tobacco, drinking beer, drinking whiskey, swearing, spitting all over the place (pause) and some of the men are just as bad.” 

Boy Tony, 1986, presenting a hygiene tip for area fans:

“Now I want you people to go and get in front of the mirror and I want you to smile real big right now. Just go ahead, go ahead, smile. Now you see all that green stuff and that brown stuff between your teeth? That’s not supposed to be there. And Boy Tony is gonna teach you how to get it off right now. First of all, you need a toothbrush and some toothpaste. Now all you do is take the cap off and you squeeze a little bit, not too much, you don’t want to be wasteful. Put the cap back on the toothpaste, now that’s a no-no, to leave the cap off. Never do that. Okay, now, take the toothbrush with the toothpaste, run a little water, stick it under there just for a moment and then take the toothbrush with the toothpaste and just scrub (begins brushing teeth) up and down. There you go. Up and down, all around. Oh, yeah, just watch me boys and girls, just like that. (Spits.) Now at first you’ll have a little problem with your gums starting to bleed just a little bit. That’s no problem because after awhile your gums will get used to that but you got to get that green stuff off of them teeth and keep scrubbing up and down and all around (brushes teeth again) and after you get finished, take a little water (drinks some water) and rinse out your mouth and then you can have a beautiful smile like Boy Tony has. (Smiles.) Now I want you to be sure to join me next week for another Boy Tony hygiene tip.” 

Lance Russell and newcomer manager Tux Newman, 1985:

Russell:   “Listen, we don’t really have the time ‘cause we got a match coming up with a fine young team of Constance and Ashley, you may want to take a look at. Uh, can you come back a little bit later and maybe we can…”

Newman:  “I’d like to, there’s a few men I’d like to see wrestle and also, uh, I’d like to talk about a good friend of mine and that’s Andy Kaufman. I’d like to bring that up later if I may.” (Crowd moans.)

Russell:  “Oh, ah, okay, Tux Newman, uh, I think you may have said the wrong thing in the wrong area of the country, Tux, but we’ll be talking to you later.” 

Lance Russell with Dirty Rhodes, 1984:

Russell:   “Ooooookay, we’re gonna be ready to go to the ring with our, uh, final tag action match in a moment. Coming out here, right now, a guy we got to introduce to you. Don’t think many of you know him before, Dirty Rhodes.”

Rhodes:    “Dirty Rhodes.”

Russell:   “Now is, is it, is it correct? I have been told that you have a cousin by the name of Dusty Rhodes?”

Rhodes:   “Cousin by the name of Dusty Rhodes? Well, I got a cousin by the name of Dusty Rhodes, I got a cousin by the name of Muddy Rhodes, I got a cousin by the name of Bumpy Rhodes.” 

Lance Russell, Missy Hyatt, Eddie Gilbert and Dave Brown, 1988:

Russell:    “All right, continuing on the trivia contest, the Renegade trivia…”

(Missy snatches a card out of Russell’s hand.)

Hyatt:   “I wanna read it.”

Russell:   “Missy, that’s the question for this week.”

Hyatt:  “I wanna give the question. It says ‘name the manager of the Interns when they were the most successful.’”

Gilbert:  “I know that! I know the answer!”

Russell:    “All right. Now don’t be giving no answers. This is for the people at home. I don’t wanna hear any kind of answers. (Eddie whispers to Missy.) Who was the manager of the most…”

Hyatt:  “Dr. Ken Ramey?”

Russell:   “Ah.” (drops mic and looks at Gilbert and Hyatt)

Gilbert:  “You said I couldn’t say it.”

Hyatt:   “Well, these people wouldn’t get it anyway.”

Russell:   “You just, you just…”

Gilbert:  “You said I couldn’t say it.”

Russell: “Yeah, I know, you just turned around and tell her. You just ruined…”

Hyatt: “I don’t think anybody could get that. They don’t know, they’re stupid.”

Gilbert:  “Not anybody from around here.”

Russell:  “Well, you’re not supposed to give the answer out on it. This is a contest for the people at home. That’s ridiculous to sit out here…”

Hyatt: “I don’t care.”

Russell: “Well, we have just blown the Renegades trivia question.”

Hyatt:  “Who, I got the next one, who is the most beautiful lady in professional wrestling?”

Gilbert:   “And why is she?”

Russell:  “Yeah, and I’m sure you’ll give us the answer, too.”

Hyatt:  “Oh, I don’t have to give you the answer.”

Russell:  “Ah, the uh, the Renegade’s trivia contest has just been shot by Eddie Gilbert and Missy Hyatt giving the answer to who was the manager of the Interns.”

Hyatt:  “Well, nobody would get that.”

Russell: “Yeah, we, we, we need another question. Do we have another trivia question that we could use at this time? (Gilbert and Hyatt stand up to head toward the ring.) Yeah, huh? Oh, hey. (Dave Brown enters the scene.) C’mon now, don’t be, c-continue, you just ruined a segment in here.”

Gilbert:  “Dave Brown’s gonna save the day for us.”

Russell:   “Okay, okay, Davey.”

Brown: “He’s got a match coming up against Nightmare Ken Wayne. How about who was Ken Wayne’s longtime Nightmare partner?”

(Gilbert raises his hand to answer the question.)

Russell:   “Okay. (Lance spots Gilbert ready to answer the question.) All right now, just get on outta here. We do not need that. We don’t want any answers. You’ve already ruined one of the questions. Now just stay away from the microphone.” 

Tom Renesto and Lance Russell, 1985:

Renesto:  “Well, it is obvious that you’ve done exactly as I told you to do, to re-show the VTR of where I slapped Mr. Eddie Marlin. Now, Mr. Eddie Marlin had that coming and I want to thank you personally for showing it ‘cause I think down deep in your heart I think you enjoyed my slapping him as much as I did.

Russell:   “Not really.”

Renesto:  “The only thing that I’m sorry for is that Eddie Marlin doesn’t come out right now, or isn’t here, so I can slap him again publicly ‘cause that’s what I intend on doing every time I see him. I’m gonna slap him.”

Russell:  “Well, that kind of attitude is gonna get you exactly somewhere else besides right here.” (Eddie Marlin comes out to the set. Lance directs his comments to Marlin.) “You don’t have to listen to that.” (Marlin clobbers Renesto.) “Eddie!” Now you of all people know better than this. C’mon Eddie.” (Suddenly, Bill Dundee rushes out and attacks Marlin.) “Dundee! C’mon Billy. Get off him. Will you guys get outta here? C’mon, now. Bill, now there’s no excusing this. C’mon!” (Lawler rushes out to even the sides.) 

Ronnie Gossett, 1989, challenging Eddie Marlin:

“I’ll hit you so hard that pacemaker will fly out your ear.” 

Dutch Mantel, 1989, Louisville, KY house show promo:

“You know what I like about Louisville? I like that I can leave when it’s all over. Happiness to me is Louisville, Kentucky in my rear view mirror.” 

Jonathan Boyd with Lance Russell and Jeff Jarrett, 1986, promoting an upcoming New Zealand Death Box match against Jarrett:

Boyd:  “I might’ve underestimated this bloody Jeff Jarrett. I told you people I would send him away and I didn’t do it. And I’m out here eating my words and I don’t like to generally because my words are a staple diet. But I might be wrong. Maybe I am, maybe I’m not. Maybe Jeff Jarrett is a man and maybe he’s not. You understand what I’m trying to say? He has signed a New Zealand death box match where we’re gonna put this box (a coffin-like box is sitting on the floor in front of the announce desk) in the center of the ring and the winner is the one that can beat the living daylights out of the other one, put him in the death box and shut it. You understand that? Now, he has agreed to the match but I have the contract here (Boyd waves the contract) and there’s no bloody name on it yet. I just want him to be a man and come out here right now because I heard he’s back there waiting somewhere and come out and sign this New Zealand death box match just so I’ll know he’s gonna turn up and do it and that Eddie Marlin and his daddy and King Lawler will not talk him out of it, will not protect him.”

Russell:  “He’s agreed to the match.”

Boyd:  “I don’t care, I wanna see it in writing because this is the worst type of match there ever is. You don’t bloody realize. If you’re a man, Jeff Jarrett, come out here and sign this but maybe, you’re not a man. Has Eddie Marlin told you not to do it? I think he bloody has. You know what? I’m sick and tired (crowd cheers as Jeff Jarrett comes out) you people getting on the bloody Sheepherders all the time. We’re the greatest wrestlers in the world and I’m the greatest wrestler. Well, look what we got here. Look at what we got here.”

Jarrett: “I’ve agreed to the match.”

Boyd:  “You’ve agreed to the match?”
Jarrett:  “I haven’t backed down from any of your challenges, have I, Boyd?”

Boyd:   “Do you see your name here? (Waves contract)

Jarrett:  “Have I backed down from any of your challenges?”

Boyd: “Do you see your name here?”

Jarrett:   “No, I’ll sign it.”

Boyd: “You’ll sign it?”

Jarrett:   “You explain one more time about this match.”

Boyd:  “All right, this is simple as this. We put this in the center of the ring. We put it in there and we beat one another half to death. If you’re a man, you can do it to me but I know you can’t.”

Jarrett:  “The winner, the winner of the match is the one who gets the other one in the box?”

Boyd:  “In the box and shuts the lid.”

Jarrett: “Okay.” (Jarrett signs the contract.)

Russell:  “Why do you have to use a coffin? This is some New Zealand thing that I’ve never heard of before in my life.”

Boyd:  “It’s gonna be a coffin to him but it’s a New Zealand death box to me. Now you’ve signed it, right?”

Jarrett:  “I’ve signed it.”

Boyd:  “Is his name on it? Is his name on it?”

Russell:   “His name is on it.”

Boyd:  “Now, Eddie Marlin or his daddy can’t get him out of this, can they?”

Russell:  “He’s not, he already agreed to the match, Jonathan.”

Jarrett:   “I’ve not backed down from any of your terms and I’m not going to, Boyd.”

Boyd:  “Did you read this? (Waves contract, as Jarrett begins to leave) Hey, come back here. Come here, come here. Come here, come here.”

Jarrett:   “I’m not backing down. I’ve read it.”

Boyd:    “You’ve read it? Have you read all the conditions? Has he read all the conditions?”

Russell:   “He signed the thing, Jonathan. Would you quit wasting our time here and go on with this?”

Boyd:  “Let (takes the New Zealand flag off the death box) me explain to you. Maybe you’re a man and maybe, you’re not, but this is what we’re gonna do because you know what? (Boyd opens the box) You’re not gonna be in here alone (reaches inside box). You’re gonna be in here with this.” (Boyd tosses a snake onto Jarrett as the crowd goes berserk.) 

Lance Russell, Billy Travis and Jeff Jarrett, 1988:

Russell:   “There you hear it from the Rockers. They, uh, they’re talking bad.”

Travis:  “You know, Lance, they, they feel like they’re pretty confident. You know I’m tickled to death that me and Jeff’s back together and uh, we held the Southern belts a lot of times together. Youngest team to ever hold them. Well, you know, it’s everybody’s dream to become the world champion. Well, Monday night in Memphis might be our dream ‘cause we’d like to take those world titles.”

Russell:   “Couple of young guys who took the titles, the Rockers. And now you guys have your chance.”

Jarrett:  “That’s right, Lance. You know it’s gonna be a big night for myself and Billy. Uh, that’s right, we’re young and those guys are the world champs. I’m not taking anything away from them but they said something in their interview, said the guys they used to watch would do anything, they’d have to do to win. Well, I guarantee you, me and Billy might not be the biggest and baddest guys, but we got one thing and that’s heart and we’re gonna give everything we got Monday night and just hope we come out on top.” 

Jim Cornette, 1983:

“How do you break up a party at Steve O’s house? You flush the punch bowl.” 

Koko Ware, Lance Russell and Bill Dundee, December 1985, Ware is dressed as Santa Claus and has just handed out gifts to the studio audience:

Ware:   “You know Lance, I am in the spirit, you know, I’m telling you. I’m so happy for the people. Merry Christmas everybody! The whole city’s in the spirit out there. Right, y’all? The whole city’s in the spirit, right? (Crowd cheers.) All right but you know one thing Lance, I want to say one thing. That you know last year I wasn’t in the spirit too much because I didn’t have enough money to do what I wanted to do and year before that I didn’t have no money at all to be in the Christmas spirit. And it just sorta set me back for a little while. But thank fortune, thank God that I had a match with Ric Flair. If I had beaten Ric Flair I would’ve been a rich man today.”

Russell:     “Yeah.”

Ware:    “But I didn’t, but…”

Russell: “Thanks to Dundee.”

Ware:  “Yeah, thanks to Bill Dundee but you know I got a good payoff out of it anyway. You know that sorta give me a little extra money and so I can celebrate Christmas like I want to. And you know I went home to my mother and I, I was so happy and I said ‘Mother, I got a little extra money here.’ She said, ‘Really?’ I said ‘Yes, I have.’ And I said ‘What do you want for Christmas?’ She said, ‘Well,’ she looked at me, she said, ‘Well, I really don’t want anything’. She said ‘You go ahead and you take your money and you buy you a nice present’, you know? I said, ‘Okay, I’ll buy me a nice present’. And she looked at me again and said, ‘Wait a minute, except one little thing.’ She said ‘You know Bill Dundee has been talking about us so much’. She said ‘If you can do me a favor, if you could take that Southern belt off of Bill Dundee, that’ll be my Christmas present’.”

Russell:   “Ah-hah.”

Ware:  “You see…”

Russell:   “Very good.”

Ware:  “You know I said ‘Is that all you want?’ She said ‘That’s all I want. If you can beat Bill Dundee and that would be my biggest Christmas present. Then I can bring that Southern belt here and put it under the Christmas tree.’ You know what I’m saying?”

Russell:   “Well, you’re gonna get- (Dundee walks out) hey come on, Billy. We’ve had enough stuff with Mantel coming…”

Dundee:    “Koko, come here. It’s Christmas, man and I, I know a lot of people out there don’t think I’m a human being ‘cause I’m so pretty, I’m so talented. They think I’m not human but I am. I gotta a heart and I heard him saying that people like money for Christmas so I ran all the way down to the bank and cashed in that twenty-five thousand dollar check that I won and I got me a whole bag full of money (pulls out a small bag) and I’m gonna share it with all you rednecks.”

Russell:  “You’re gonna share some of you’re money?”

Dundee:    “A whole bag full right here. This is full of gold, brother, and I’m gonna share it with all you rednecks ‘cause I got the spirit, daddy. (Dundee begins tossing handfuls of coins toward the studio audience.)

Ware: “Dundee, there are nothing but pennies. What’s wrong with you? Bunch of pennies. Big concept!”

Dundee:   “Come on get down on your hands and knees.”

Russell:   “Dundee throwing out pennies out all over the floor. (Ware tosses his Santa Claus cap and beard to the floor in disgust.)

Dundee:  “Koko, I’m just like you, baby, I go the same spirit as you got. I got it  all for you people, except you, jack. (Dundee then slugs Ware in the face with the bag full of coins.)

Russell:    “Good night, Dundee! Come on, Bill! Get off of that!”

Dundee:  “You want my belt? Come and get it, boy! Come and get my belt!” 

Eddie Gilbert and Dave Brown, 1988, promoting an upcoming card in Jonesboro, Arkansas:

Gilbert:  “I just wanna let everybody in Jonesboro know the Gilbert family’s coming, all of us together, we’re coming to Jonesboro. I’m getting there early, the mayor is gonna make the announcement. We’re calling it Gilbertsboro.”

Brown:  (pauses as Eddie walks away): “I guess we should warn Jonesboro that the whole family is coming so do get ready for ‘em tonight in Jonesboro.” 

Ronnie Gossett and Dave Brown, 1989, during a Dutch Mantel & Master of Pain TV squash match:

Gossett:    “Dave Brown, I can see you’ve got the same illiterate, low-class, nothin’-happenin’ studio crowd that you’ve always done. You’ve really done a great job ‘cause this is the pick of the litter.”

Brown:  “This is a fine crowd we have here today. Excellent crowd.”

Gossett:   “Look at that front row, they don’t have ten teeth between all of ‘em. Look at the hairy legs on that one.

Brown:  “The word from Ronald P. Gossett, uninvited guest over here.” 

Ken Wayne, 1985 promoting an upcoming match with Danny Davis vs. The Daydreamers:

“See these boots? These boots are made for kicking (turns to Lance) and you know what they’re gonna kick.” 

Jesse Ventura, 1983, Louisville house show promo for a match against Charles Atlas, billed as brother to Tony Atlas:

“Now, let’s get down to Charles Atlas. Now does this dude really think that’s his name? Is he the guy to run around and got sand kicked in his face? Sent in and got one of those dime courses and in three weeks got some muscles? Charles Atlas? Well, Charles Atlas, let me lay one on you, daddy, you’re gonna go down ‘cause you got a peanut brain and that’s all you got going for you. I’m gonna kick some sand in your face, jack.” 

Lance Russell and Tojo Yamamoto, 1986, after Yamamoto, Tarzan Gotoh and Akio Sato had destroyed Jeff Jarrett, Pat Tanaka and Eddie Marlin on the TV show:

Russell:    “I tell you one thing (holding a hammer) it’s come down to a situation where it looks like that I was going, Tojo, I’m gonna have a ball bat sitting underneath that desk. You can put up with a lot of things in there and I don’t have any question in my mind that Tojo Yamamoto could kill me. But I tell you one doggone thing, we’re not gonna take it lightly and I just want you to know that. Tojo, come out here right now ‘cause I got a message from (sic) you. I just got off the phone with Jerry Jarrett explaining what happened on it down there. Now don’t come out swinging that (Yamamoto appears brandishing a kendo stick.). Now all right, you may get in a lick and, and…”

Yamamoto:   “Come on, you wanna fight me?”

Russell:   No, I don’t wanna fight you but I tell you what, you’re not gonna do, you’re not gonna push me around with that. I may only get (swings hammer) one lick but I’ll hit you right in the face with this.”

Yamamoto:    “It’s not right to fight an old man, an old crow like you.”

Russell:   “Well, all right, just remember that ‘cause I tell ya’ if I don’t get but one lick, it’ll be a good one right to…I don’t want to fight you Tojo. You, I tell you what you are through. I said it before, you’re trash. You’re absolutely a disgrace to your people. You do sneaky things. I talked to Jerry Jarrett. You’re screaming ‘Get me Jerry Jarrett’. I told him what you did to Eddie Marlin, what you did to his son, Jeff Jarrett out there. He said three words, ‘Sign the match’. He’s not afraid of you, one eye or any of that.”

Yamamoto: “Ha! I feel better and I’m gonna beat Jerry Jarrett. Bonsai!”

Russell:    “All right, yeah, you beat him. This is one time, I don’t pull for too many, well, I do pull for some but I don’t just openly root for somebody to get hurt (sets hammer on announce desk) but I tell you one thing, Dave, this is a situation where I’m gonna be sitting, waiting, watching for Jerry Jarrett. There’s a time when you got to do things and Jerry Jarrett feels the same way. He’s got one eye that’s bad, he’s got the other eye that’s partially bad, histoplasmosis, but he is a man and he’s not gonna put up with that kind of stuff happening out there and he will meet Yamamoto in the ring. He’d rather meet him in the parking lot if he was right out here but the match he said and I applaud him for it. ‘Sign the match.’ There’s a time you got to do things. The match is signed. We’ll take time out, be back in a moment, we got more of it.” 

Jackie Fargo, 1986, in a locker room interview with Michael St. John after being “pinned for the first time since 1977” in a Nashville tag match with Jerry & Jeff Jarrett against Tojo Yamamoto, Akio Sato & Tarzan Gotoh: 

“I came out here tonight not to defend my honor. I don’t need honor. I came out here, I call on my friends, Jerry and Jeff. Look at this. Look, a black eye I can get over. My pride, I can’t. You can kiss me where the sun don’t shine, Tojo, you son of a you know what. I’m not done with you and I’m not done with your boys. But I might be done with professional wrestling if I can’t prove myself, if I can’t prove myself next Saturday night here. I don’t know where Jerry and I don’t know where Jeff’s gonna be but, by God, I know where I’m gonna be. I’m gonna be right here. If it’s gotta be one on one, that’s great. But I got a point to prove and I’ve got to prove it to myself and to my fans. If I can’t, then by God, it’s over for me. That’s what I got to say. Now take your camera and go. Now get outta here.” 

Phil Hickerson, 1985, after The Freedom Fighters poormouthed him: 

“Hey, man, I ain’t got nothing against you, you know, since y’all’ve been here, I’ve been trying to help y’all, you know, I’ve been talking and everything. You ain’t got no right to come out here and say, hey, I ain’t seen an inside of a gym and I’m fat and all this. You don’t have a right to say that. Let me tell you something. You know the reason why you haven’t wrestled against Lawler and any, like, Dundee, Mantel, myself and Koko? The reason you two have not wrestled in them matches is because you’re green and you don’t know how to wrestle. The only thing that you know to do, brother, is to pull them britches down and put them steroids in that booty. That’s the only thing you two idiots know and you know it.” 

Lance Russell with The Fabulous Ones, 1983, discussing their feud with The Masked Grapplers, who had taken a trophy presented by the fans to the Fabs:

Russell:  “Fabulous Ones, Stan and Steve, as they’re out just before we go to that eight man tag match. We’re gonna ask ‘em to step up here and talk to them for just a moment. Here’s Steve.”

Keirn: “Well, you know I’ve heard all the little comments that the Grapplers had to say while they were out here. You know the Grapplers have got a lot of guts. They come out and take something when nobody’s around. Stan and myself were in Florida last Saturday and apparently we missed getting presented with a really nice trophy. Well, I want to say this to all the fans out there we owe a great thanks because they elected us the tag team of the year in their eyes. Now we are the Southern heavyweight champions at the present time and there’s a lot of people that’s gonna say ‘Well these belts mean more to them than them, them, them trophies’. Well I’ll say this, if it wasn’t for those people that elected us tag team champions of the year we would have never got these belts and we would have never got these trophies. So, those trophies mean just as much to us. And as for that Grappler that comes out here, I don’t know about the other dummy, he can’t seem to open his mouth, but as for the one that’s big and bad and from Texas and stand here and shoots his mouth off. I’m gonna tell him this, if you got the guts and if you’re as bad as you say you are and act, then all you have to do is come, bring that trophy and show up because you’ll get your Southern title match and it’s gonna be one of the toughest matches you’ve had in your life. And you, you’re out here running your mouth, telling everybody how bad you are, just show up because I think you’ve got a yellow streak that runs up your back and all the way to Texas and I plan on giving you the wrestling lesson of your life. So, you start and I’ll be the one on the other side.”

Russell:   “All right, sounds like a pretty positive statement from Steve. Stan.”

Lane:   “You know I knew from the first time I laid my eyes on those two guys that I didn’t like ‘em. I looked at them and said ‘They’re wearing masks’ for some reason, all right? Now I don’t know why they wear ‘em for, if they’re just ugly or if they’ve got terminal acne or what, Lance. But I then figured out why they wear those masks. Because they’re common thieves. They’re like some guy who goes into a bank and wants to hide their identity. I don’t know where it all started for ‘em, their thieving ways. They probably started out stealing bubble gum in a 7-11 or something. I don’t know where it started but I know where it’s gonna end. It’s gonna end right here because you don’t, you don’t steal what belongs to the Fabulous Ones, Lance and they came out here like Steve said and took our trophies that belonged to us. Well, they don’t want to put the trophies up. Last time we don’t want to put the belts up but next time we will, next time we meet the belts on the line and let me just say this, call up whoever makes those ugly little masks for you. Talk to your seamstress or whatever and tell ‘em to crank the sewing machine up because every time you get in the ring with the Fabulous Ones, those masks are gonna come off.” 

Downtown Bruno, 1987, in a promo for an upcoming match:

“Put that camera on me! Put that camera on me! Jeff Jarrett, Billy Travis and Mark Starr don’t mean nothing. Downtown Bruno and the Moondogs and Paul Diamond and Pat Tanaka mean something. What did I say? Ft. Duquesne Boulevard, baby. Street people. The cab drivers and the street people and all the trash. The scum always rises to the top, Lance Russell. Momma sez it beez that way sometimes. Ah, yeah.” 

Lance Russell after an interview with Downtown Bruno and The Moondogs, 1987:

“Talking about ‘momma sez it beez that way’, my momma said they’s gonna be days like this.” 

Eddie Marlin with Lance Russell and Dave Brown, 1988, after the Gilberts burned Jerry Jarrett:

Marlin:   “Lance Russell, I wanna talk to you and I wanna talk to Tommy Gilbert. I came out here to, first to talk about him or me being handcuffed to the turnbuckle. (Tosses handcuffs to the announce desk.) That’s the farthest thing away from my mind right now. Tommy Gilbert, you get out here on this TV station and you challenged me. You said I was too old to fight. It was me and you, Tommy. Every time I got in the ring it was another Gilbert here and another Gilbert there.”

Russell:    “Yeah.”

Marlin:  “That’s fine, I still fought you. I’ll fight you again. If the Gilberts are here or there I’ll still fight you. But he carried it one step too far. He involved my family and when you involve my family, Tommy Gilbert…”

Russell:    “Now.”

Floor Director:  (to Russell) “Jerry Lawler’s on the phone.”

Marlin:   “You just wait just a second.”

Floor Director:    “Jerry Lawler’s on the phone right now.”

Marlin:   “I don’t care who’s on the phone. When you involve my family, son, you have carried it too far. (Crowd roars.) Now come out here and burn me. Burn me right now like you did my son-in-law.”

Russell:   “Eddie, hey, just settle down.”

(Russell goes to the phone and Brown continues the interview.)

Marlin: “I don’t care who’s on the phone. I’m not through talking to Tommy Gilbert. And I won’t be through until you come out here Tommy Gilbert. Come out here and burn me. Burn me! Burn me! Don’t burn my family. (Crowd chants “Gilbert”.) I don’t care. When you involve my family, Dave, I can’t stay. If he’s got a gut in his body, he’ll bring it out right here.”

Brown:  “I don’t think we want him out here right now but I understand your feelings.”

Marlin:  (taking sports jacket off): “He can’t get up in that ring if he wants to (slings jacket to the floor, crowd roars) or he can come out here and do anything he wants to. But don’t burn up my family, I’m telling ya’.” 

Randy Savage, 1985, promoting his participation with Lanny Poffo in a $20,000 tag tournament:

“I wanna take the money and I wanna rent a room, yeah, with a real, real nice view and then I’m gonna strip naked. Yeah, and I’m gonna have an electric fan (crowd roars), I’m gonna have an electric fan out there pointed right at me and I’m gonna take the money and throw it at the electric fan. Yeah, it’s gonna be really great.” 

Playboy Frazier, 1985, about his participation in a $20,000 tag tournament:

“Ten thousand dollars, Lance will buy me a big beautiful diamond ring and I just might buy me a new Lincoln-Continental. I don’t know what I’m gonna do with ten thousand dollars!” 

Buddy Landel and Ronnie Gossett, 1989:

Landel:   “And I don’t appreciate you people saying he’s [Gossett] got more chins than a Chinese phone book.”

Gossett:   “No, I don’t either.”

Landel:   “No, he don’t. This man is a picture of perfect health right here and he’s gonna stomp a mudhole in Eddie Marlin and walk it dry and then he’s gonna come out and watch me take care of Jerry Lawler. So, I’ll be the new… (Landell turns attention to roaring audience)…hey, if I need any crap out of you, I’ll squeeze your head, all right? Shut up!” 

Jos LeDuc, 1984, at the Bruise Brothers “funeral”:

“You know they were good wrestlers. They were championship material. (Pause) Did you ever wonder when your turn was coming? Now get out of here.” 

Stan Hansen, 1983:

(Laughs.) “Yeah, it’s great being from Texas. Now you walk all over the world, I fly all over the world. Why? Because I’m hungry, man, and I don’t have a lot but people pay me to come in some place for a reason. And the reason is they wanna see somebody like me. A man, a headhunter. Everybody knows by now about the lariat and how it can take people’s heads off. How I broke Bruno Sammartino’s neck. How I put countless people in the hospital. Maybe it might be Jerry Lawler, oh God, how I hope it is. Maybe it’s gonna be Austin Idol. I’d like to get that little sissified slob out on the beach. It dutton matter where. He’s not a man. I’d like to get the Fabulous Ones and take them down to the ground. The Bad Man from Borger, Texas is here for a reason. I’m here because I am the biggest, the baddest Texan of them all. No more imitations! We’re talking about a big man that can kick (expletive bleeped). We’re talking about a man that’ll take you on straight. I’ll take you on from behind, I’ll take you on sideways. I’ll take you on anywhere because I am the man. Jerry Lawler, you might be the king of Memphis. Austin Idol, you might be the heartthrob (spits). Both of y’all make me sick, boy. Where I come from we take a little piece (takes a chew of tobacco) and we stick it in the gum and we chew it up. And we get ready. We get ready for one thing. Not talking. Not kissing the girls. Not kissing those fat, sloppy wives out there. I’m here for one reason, to beat somebody because I’m hungry and I’m on the way to the top and nobody, I mean nobody is gonna stop me. Everybody, get aware. The lariat is coming to Memphis and it’s the baddest thing y’all’ve ever seen.” 

Lance Russell with Jimmy Hart and an audio tape of James J. Dillion, 1984:

Russell: “Here is the president of the First Family, Jimmy Hart.” (Crowd jeers.)

Hart: “Woooo!”

Russell:  “Boy, Jimmy, you really got ‘em stirred up today.”

(Audience chants “Hart is a wimp!”)

Hart:  “I don’t want to hear it. I don’t want to hear it today.”

Russell:   “There’s (looking into the audience) one that says ‘Hart is a wimp’, yeah, ‘Hart is a wimp’ and a whole big story about it.”

Hart:  “I don’t want to hear about it baby, I feel good today.”

Russell:    “Well, I tell you what I want to hear about, I want to hear about what in the world possessed Jimmy Hart and I know all about this, interfering on behalf of the Zambui Express, not your talent, you’re up there and I am stunned. I absolutely was stunned when it came down to understanding that, Jimmy.”

Hart:   “I’ll guess you’d say Jimmy Hart is unpredictable, right Russell?”

Russell:    “Boy, he was certainly unpredictable. Hey, listen, I got something for you that was delivered, (Hart walks away from the announce desk) wait a minute, don’t run off. This was delivered (Russell holds up a package) to the station.”

Hart:    “A present from you to me?”

Russell:   “No, not from me. I tell you, it was also accompanied by a picture of one of your not too favorite friends. I want you to open it (Hart holds his ear to the package) because there’s a message in there. Uh, I will tell you the picture was of James J. Dillion but go ahead and open it anyhow.”

Hart:  “Nothing ticking in here, huh?”

Russell:  “No, nothing ticking. We checked that out to be certain on it because when you get packages and presents, there’s no telling what in the world they are.”

Hart:  “Here, Dave, (Hart begins to open the package) help me, don’t sit there with a…”

Russell:    “Now all I know is that this is for, here, just, yeah…

(Hart has package open)

Hart:  “Fifty-nine ninety five.” (Hart laughs)

Russell:   “All right.”

Hart:   “Couldn’t be much of anything, Lance.”

Russell:   “Uh, hey, lookie here.”

Hart:   “A tape machine. I’ll put it with the rest of my tape machines.”

Russell:    “No, no, no, no, now, wait a minute.”

Hart:    “Look the batteries fell out of the back of it. Idiot. What kind, what, what, who’s gonna send Jimmy Hart a tape machine with the batteries out of it, goof?”

Russell:   “It’s had a long trip.”

Hart:  “C’mon, Lance.”

(Hart fiddles with the batteries.)

Russell:  “Can you figure out how to put these in there, Jimmy?”

Hart:   “I certainly hope I can. Let’s be sure. Let me, if you’re helping me do it we’ll probably get the whole thing goofed up here. Let’s put the top on.”

Russell: “Yes, ‘cause I am, I am really interested to find out what the message is that, that, let’s…”

Hart:  “Let’s see if it’s gonna work here.”

Russell:  “Huh? Yeah.”

Hart:    “Put this out. (Hart extends the antenna) See if it’s gonna work here.”

Russell:   “Okay, you got it all?”

Hart:  “I hope so, if you put it in right.”

Russell:   “This is James J. Dillion.”

Hart:     “Oh, wait, this is, this is sent to me, right?” (Hart laughs.)

Russell:    “This is a special message from James J. Dillion…”

Hart:   “Let’s be sure we got…”

Russell:    “…accompanied by a picture, by the way, and I want you to watch the monitor when you’re listening to this because…”

Hart:      “where do you turn it on at, Lance…”

Russell:     “…you’ll have an opportunity…”

Hart:    “…click on.”

Russell:    “Okay, here we go.”

Dillion:   (audio tape begins) “Now, Mr. Hart, I am too much of a man and too much of a gentleman (photo of a tuxedo-clad Dillion is shown with a wide smile on his face) need I remind you…”

Russell:   (acknowledging the photo of Dillion): “There he is.”

Dillion:     “…that I am pro wrestling manager of the year for 1982, pro wrestling manager of the year for 1983 and I feel I am already a shoo-in for 1984. And being the gentleman that I am, I am not going to threaten you with bodily harm but Mister Jimmy Hart, if you ever interfere with any of the matches at any time in the future from this moment on with the Zambui Express or anybody else I have under contract, I will charter my Leer jet in a New York second and I’m gonna come up to this area and Jimmy Hart, I’m gonna ring your scrawny neck!” (Crowd cheers.)

Russell:     “That’s it, Jim, uh,  a simple message.”

Hart:     “Well, uh, I see it, (turns to crowd) y’all love J.J. Dillion more than Jimmy Hart, is that right? Well, let me tell you something, baby, I’m not scared of anything or anybody. You know what I’ll tell you what I did it for. Let me tell you something Zambui Express, if y’all guys are listening in the back back there you better take a look at Jimmy Hart because I am the future in professional wrestling. I am the youngest man in professional wrestling. I’m not an old man, old fossil, laying on a beach down there in Miami Beach, Florida or wherever he’s from, baby, soaking up the sun while you’re up here running down the highways, baby. Running down the highways, breaking bones in your body, while he collects the money from you. So, you better wake up, man, I am in the trenches every week and every night with my men. I’ve got scars on my head and broken bones to prove it. Like I said, I am the future, baby, you better wake up and take a look at Jimmy Hart. J.J. Dillion, you’ve got to be kidding me. I’m not worried about J.J. Dillion. I’m not scared of anything or anybody.”

Russell:    “He sent you fair warning, Jimmy.”

Hart:   “Big deal.”

Russell:  “He sent you fair warning in time.”

Hart:  “Well, you can take this stupid, cheap fifty-nine dollar tape machine with batteries all fixed the wrong way. It shows what he knows about anything. I’m not worried about nobody but I don’t want to talk about Dillion anymore. You know what I’ll talk about now? I want to talk about somebody very special to Jimmy Hart. You know, this next wrestler, give me the microphone. (Hart takes the mic from Russell) Ladies and gentlemen and I use the word very loosely, ladies and gentlemen, feast your eyes on the door baby, upstairs, crank up the music (Camera gets a shot of the dressing room door as “Everybody Wants You”, the theme for the Fabulous Ones begins) introducing the sensational Rick Rude. (Rude and valet Angel appear) Look at him baby! C’mon, dance for ‘em, Rick.”

Russell:   “What is this? That is the Fabulous Ones’ music.”

Hart:  “You’ve got to be kidding me, that’s Billy Squier’s music, that’s not the Fabulous Ones’ music.”

Russell:     “That’s the music associated with the Fabulous Ones.”

Hart:   “You know what, you’re an idiot, you see, you’re just like these stupid people out here. You thought evidently the Fabulous Ones were singing that song.”

Russell:   “No.”

Hart:     “You’re an idiot, baby. You don’t know nothing. That is Billy Squier. Let me tell you what baby, see you must think this song is a big hit by the Fabs, well let me tell you something, you ain’t seen nothing yet, baby, because this man’s gonna make that song really famous because this man is gonna be famous. You’re an idiot. The only people that does original music around here is Jimmy Hart, now maybe Lawler does a little bit but I do it the best. His music is trash, baby. Original music, from now on, this is Rick Rude’s theme song, baby. Everybody wants him!” (Hart laughs as he heads toward the ring)

Russell:    (as he turns to sit down at the announce desk) “Oh, yeah, Jimmy Hart, pulling another one just to irritate and get under the skin of somebody, Dave.” 

Rick Rude, 1984, promoting an upcoming Evansville match versus Jerry Lawler, not long after Rude had busted the windshield out of Lawler’s car with a bat on Memphis TV:

“You know, Lance, I’m sick to my stomach about Jerry Lawler’s car and I’d like to apologize right now. I want to apologize for the fact that his ugly face wasn’t behind that windshield when I put that Louisville slugger through the windshield, Lance. But next time, it’s gonna be a Beverly Hills slugger and there won’t be no windshield to protect you, Lawler.” 

Robert Fuller, 1989, explaining his “Dream Match” to Eddie Marlin:

“I tell you probably the toughest match that I ever had, Eddie, you want to know the real truth about it, was my own family and I had it with my brother and I had it with my brother over the Tennessee Stud issue. The both of us, born in the state of Tennessee, and me being the toughest all of my life and then my brother coming along and trying to steal my name. And it came down to the hook, we didn’t want to wrestle tag team in ten years. We wanted both of us in the same career and never tag team and never got along worth a flip, so it came down to a head and I tried to beat his goofy tail to death, Eddie, if you wanna know the truth about it.” 

Austin Idol, 1987, promoting an upcoming match in which he teams with Tommy Rich against Jerry Lawler & Bam Bam Bigelow:

“You know, you don’t have to be an Einstein to figure this out. Take a good look at Jerry Lawler. You’re looking right now at the greatest all-around athlete in the world today and I know I don’t need any introduction. But we want to look at Jerry Lawler right now and see, and oh, shall we say, let’s count how many friends does the so-called King of Memphis have? Is it Austin Idol? No, we know that. Tommy Rich, is he a friend? No, that’s not Tommy Rich. Jimmy Valiant? No. Is it Bill Dun-no, no it’s not Bill Dundee. Is it Nick Bock- no, it’s not Nick Bockwinkel either. Look about it, you know, take a good hard look at it and look real closely. Jerry Lawler can’t get along with anybody because of his ego. He’s an egomaniac. And he is his own worst enemy. You know what you are Lawler? You live down in the gutters, down in the sewers with the rats. You’re nothing but a sewer rat. And maybe that’s why, maybe that’s why, you might be able to have some kind of a relationship with someone who came from the gutters, Bam Bam Bigelow. I don’t know how tall he is, six feet four, six feet five, over four hundred pounds and can do it all. I’m not gonna run Bigelow down because he can do it all and he came from the streets. He came from underneath those streets. He came from the gutters. And I don’t mind telling ya’, I’m not looking forward to wrestling Bigelow but I tell you this Lawler, he may go and do whatever you want him to do because he’s big, he’s dumb and he’s stupid, that’s why. And it wouldn’t surprise me Lawler if you took all his money just like his manager Larry Sharpe did when he turned on him. So, you’re gonna rob him like you robbed everybody else but I’ll lay something on ya’ Lawler. If you think when you bring in Godzilla, Bigelow, as your partner. If you think that’s gonna get the job done, you’re wrong because I’ve got something for you and I’ve got something for Bigelow and me and Tommy Rich on Monday night will show you exactly what it is. (Laughs.) And you can bank on it.” 

Paul E. Dangerously and Austin Idol, 1987, promoting Idol’s upcoming chain match against Jerry Lawler:

Dangerously:   “Lawler, I have absolutely had it with you! Every single week that the Mid-South Coliseum has a main event your name and Idol’s name is on top. Now when I came down I promised Austin that I would get him every single top contender that there is. And every week you make me out to be a liar ‘cause each week it’s your name on the contract ‘cause we just can’t get rid of ya’. So, finally with the Southern heavyweight championship at stake I said to my man Austin, I said Austin we tried it, there’s only one way to settle it. Let’s strap each by chains. Let’s bind the two humans and let the better man emerge victorious.”

Idol:     “Why don’t we trim the fat and get to the meat? You know what I asked for, Lawler. Don’t make no mistake about it and I don’t wanna hear no excuses. I asked Eddie Marlin point blank. I said drop everything and let’s take it to the bottom right now. Let’s end it all right now. I said ‘Gimme Lawler, gimme a cage match’. And what did he say Marlin? Tell the truth. Tell everybody in the area what Lawler said. He absolutely refused. He said I will not get in a steel cage with Austin Idol and Eddie Marlin is the one who backed you in a corner Lawler ‘cause I’m the one, Paul E., you know it. I said you don’t give me some violence, jack, I don’t come back. So, you want chain? You want steel? This is the match, jack, that originated in Russia and you talk Russia, you’re gonna be rushin’, you’re gonna be rushin’ to get away from me jack. You’re gonna be climbing underneath the ropes, I’m gonna pull you back. You’re gonna jump over the ropes, I’m gonna pull you back. I’m gonna take you out and drag you from pillar to post all around that Coliseum, Lawler. Trust me when I tell you this. I don’t care what I have to do. In 1987, I’m gonna take you out, punk.”

Dangerously:   “Yes!” 

Jos LeDuc, 1984:

“I like my whiskey on ice and my women on fire.” 

Lance Russell and Nick Bockwinkel, 1984 Mid-South Coliseum interview after a Bockwinkel-Lawler match:

Russell:   “It’s been a little better than an hour since the end of a world heavyweight championship match and I think a lot of the fans have seen the excitement that takes place in a great championship match. They wonder how long does it really take to unwind after the pounding and the beating, the excitement and all the things that come out. We’re sitting here in the dressing room with Nick Bockwinkel. He’s one of the very few people still in the Mid-South Coliseum. It has been over an hour since the bout in which you defended the title against Jerry the King Lawler. Nick.”

Bockwinkel:  “A lot of people ask, they wanna know, how long does it take you to unwind. And in the actuality, uh, the pain, the pounding I had to take, uh, still hasn’t set in. Your adrenaline’s still running too high. ‘Bout three hours usually. ‘Bout the time you’re getting to fall asleep, then of course, the real hell comes when you wake up the next morning. A lot of people wonder what goes on right after a championship match and I’m gonna tell you because as it has gone on many times in the past exactly what has happened tonight. In the past hour I have been informed, if you want to use the expression by my friends, associates or stooges, that the phone of Stanley Blackburn, who is a man who I seem to have a terrible time to reach when I try to reach him with problems I have with things that need, decisions made by the championship committee. But it has already filtered back to me that because of the outcome of tonight’s match because I accidentally struck a referee that needless to say, your promoter and of course, Stanley Blackburn, wanting to treat all you nice humanoids properly is talking about a rematch. Yet, let’s not kid each other. It’s coming down the wire. They’re pushing for it. There are those Lawler backers on the championship committee who want to see him the world heavyweight champion. And I know this. Now I’m going to propose something because I know the way the politics of my sport and my business works. I could put it off. I could put off with all sorts of technical games. You know how the bureaucracy is. But it’s gonna come down. Now somebody asked, ‘How do you feel?’ Well, the pain in my jaw, the pain in my head is really bad. I can feel it. I’m still functioning but tomorrow morning I’ll probably be having soup for the next two or three days because I doubt if I’m gonna be able to chew anything. And for one simple pathetic reason, this great man, Jerry Lawler, who they think has the ability and the talent to be a world’s heavyweight champion wrestler. I think everybody’s missing the point. The name on the marquee is ‘wrestling’. On the world’s heavyweight championship belt, it says ‘wrestling’. Now, in the first fifteen minutes of this match that took place tonight, Lawler never saw daylight because I dominated it with wrestling. I used a forearm, I took and a little later used some more forearms. But, no, not Mr. Lawler, all Mr. Lawler knows how to do good (turns to Russell) and I’m gonna tell you this right now and you know it and I’m sure you’ll agree. (Russell grunts.) Man throws a helluva punch.”

Russell:   “Ohhh.”

Bockwinkel:  “When I start sucking soup through a straw for the next three days that’ll be my testament to it. Only because I’m still hot and the adrenaline’s still flowing through my bones and my body is the jaw working. I doubt it’ll work tomorrow morning because that’s when the cold and the agony and the pain will really set in. Now, Lawler, if you couldn’t punch, what…would…you…do? I really wanna know. And I’ll tell you what, I just perked the curiosity of all your cretinous humanoids sitting out there. They would want to know. What would you do? Now I’m gonna make it easy for Stanley Blackburn and your promoter. I’m gonna take and bring this match. I’m gonna move it up quick. If Monday night is open, it is for me and you can put it together in the Coliseum, I want five hundred dollars a punch. (To Russell) Catch that?”

Russell:     “Lawler to pay you and you to pay Lawler or…”

Bockwinkel: “No, no, no, no, no. I’m making it easy by giving him a chance at the heavyweight championship again because I know they’re gonna try and shove it down my throat eventually anyway. So, to entice it, to make me big, er, back, a little quicker, rather than three or four, five months down the line. If you are willing to agree to five hundred dollars a punch, ‘cause you see, Lawler, you probably got a very nice streak in your body and you don’t want to give up five hundred dollars a punch, not the way you throw ‘em. And the point really comes down to this, you don’t want to give up that much money and if you can’t throw a punch, you know what, you can’t do? You can’t beat me because you cannot wrestle and I can. That’s why I’m the world heavyweight champion and that’s why you’re a contender. So, there it is, the option is yours, Lawler, put it in your pipe, smoke it and before this show is over today, let’s see what your answer is.” 

Jim Cornette, 1983, after becoming Vice President of Jimmy Hart’s First Family:

“This is the greatest day in my life.” 

Lance Russell with Hector Guerrero, 1987, as Guerrero and tag partner Manny Fernandez’s entrance music, “La Bamba” plays in the background:

Russell:     “Guerrero and the new International heavyweight champion, Manny Fernandez.”

Guerrero:   “For all you ignorant people, you want to know what that song says? It says ‘We dance the bamba, we dance the bamba, we stomp on the gringo’s head, we stomp on the gringo’s head.’”

Russell:     “That is not what it says.” 

Brickhouse Brown with Lance Russell, 1987, after Jerry Lawler had tossed a fireball on Brown the previous week:

Brown:  “Let me tell you something, Jerry Lawler. The name of the game is professional wrestling. That’s what it says on the marquee. Let me tell you something, I told you I didn’t open up my can of kick-butt but I done ripped the lid off. And let me tell you something right now, you ain’t seen the last of me, you understand. I told ya’, I’m smart, baby. I come from an intelligent college, not one of these greasy-spoons like the rest of these hics ‘round here come from, the kind of slip in and slip out of, you know what I mean?”

Russell:    “Yeah, I hear ya.”

Brown:   “You done beat the rest, now you got to face the best. I’m the real McCoy and I’m chocolate all over like an Almond Joy. And like an Almond Joy that tastes so sweet, I am what’s happening ‘cause I’m the ladies treat. Jerry Lawler, let me tell you something right now, mark my words, sucker, someday you will pay ‘cause I’m gonna tell you something right now. You ain’t never been up against anybody with the technique that I have for thinking. I’m much smarter than you, I’m a better athlete than you, I’m better all around at everything than you. And let me tell you something right now, I told you before, if you can’t stand my mess, sucker, ha, you gonna be at the wrong address. I’m gone.”

Russell:    “I hope so. Brickhouse Brown making his comments.” 

Dave Brown, 1989, announcing Lance Russell’s departure from the TV show to accept an announcing position with WCW:

“I do want to take just a moment of time to say something to someone who’s very special to me. He spent many, many years sitting right here in this chair. Of course, I’m talking about none other than Lance Russell. Lance, as many of you know, has accepted another job. Now Lance and I have worked in the same building for twenty-five years. We’ve shared this desk for twenty-two years, so it’s gonna take some getting used to, sitting here and not having Lance beside us. Lance to me personally has been everything from an acquaintance to a co-worker to a boss to a teacher. He’s responsible for much of the success that I’ve been able to enjoy in this television business and he’s also, perhaps more importantly, a friend and will continue to be a friend. He’s also a great friend to Championship Wrestling fans. Lance had planned to be here today but he started his new job early. Lance, you know I wish you happiness and I’m sure all the fans all around the territory wish you the very, very best. (Studio audience cheers.) We’ll be back in just a moment.” 

Lance Russell, 1985 after Eddie Gilbert unexpectedly slugged Dutch Mantel (and likely said thousand of other times in some form or another): 

“Now get outta here. We’ve had all that we’re gonna have.” 

NEXT MONTH:

Quotable Jerry Lawler 

This article dedicated to the memory of:

Chief Wahoo McDaniel and Lou Thesz.  Rest in peace, warriors. Thanks for making us believe.

And in honor of:

Sputnik Monroe, hang in there Sweet Man!

Special Thanks

Edsel Harrison, Mike Rodgers, Scott Teal, Charles Warburton and David Williamson