But 288 lacked the character of 521, which was your standard two-lane rural highway weaving through metropolises such as Juliff and Sandy Point, by several Texas Department of Corrections prison farms and units, by rice silos, old style convenience stores, and farmer’s markets. Once you crossed the Highway 6 intersection on the old road, you might be able to see the Houston skyline, depending on the weather and the smog level that day…

"We was out in the sticks down Highway Six…”

ZZ Top, “Master of Sparks”

As we crept closer to Houston, the terrain became more “citified.” Once we passed through Fresno (TX, not CA), petroleum related businesses, steel yards, tool and die shops, and heavy equipment manufacturers, all feeding Houston’s industrial complex, dominated the landscape. By the time we got to Almeda, the big city was within sight.  Hang a left of Highway 610, go pass the Astrodome and Astroworld, then turn right onto Main Street. Main was always an urban travelogue. We traveled past restaurants and hotels designed for tourists visiting the Astrodomain. Crossing Old Spanish Trail, we drove by the poignantly antiquated Funland that featured pony rides and by the Houston Oilers’ offices and practice field. Continuing on, we passed through the city’s huge medical center district and the area joining stately Hermann Park and Rice University. Take a left somewhere along this part of the trip and you might wind up in River Oaks, home to some of Houston’s—and America’s—wealthiest.

We were almost there. Going through the Gulf Freeway underpass, we were now in the heart of downtown Houston. Turn left on Walker Street and head to the intersection on Bagby. Make a wrong left turn and you mind wind up in the Fourth Ward, home to some of Houston’s—and America’s—poorest. Located on Bagby, the Coliseum was adjoined to the Music Hall and was across the street from City Hall.

The Coliseum had quite a history. Built in 1937, the Sam Houston Coliseum was a major point of activity as Houston began the transition from an oil town to a big city. Originally built as a rodeo arena and convention center, the Coliseum hosted sporting events such as basketball and hockey, circuses, revivals, and concerts. A famous Beatles “bootleg” album was recorded there in August 1965. The Fab Four played afternoon and evening shows that day, and my brother was at the matinee. Jimi Hendrix and the Doors were also recorded there on the sly during the ‘60s. As for myself, I saw (and heard) enough hard rock and heavy metal concerts there in the early-to-mid ‘80s to stockpile an impressive collection of Ted Nugent, Kiss and Black Sabbath souvenir t-shirts. After the Summit (now the Compaq Center) was built in 1976, the more “upscale” events began gravitating towards it and away from the building downtown. But one thing was consistent about the place: Friday night meant wrestling at the Coliseum.

By 1987, the Coliseum almost 50 years old. That’s positively ancient by today’s standards, when some pro sports teams claim that a 10-year-old facility is passe. But Sam Houston Coliseum and Houston Wrestling were intertwined despite the building’s encroaching age and declining health. It provided a citywide lodge meeting for wrestling fans, regardless of age, ethnicity or income. As William Martin has stated in his terrific article on Houston Wrestling, “for many regulars, Friday night at the Coliseum is the major social event of the week. All over the arena blacks, browns, and whites visit easily across ethnic lines, in perverse defiance of stereotypes about blue-collar prejudices. A lot of people in the ringside section know each other, by sight if not by name."  (Courtesy of http://www.theatlantic.com/unbound/flashbks/extreme/martin.htm)

We spotted my uncle, who had purchased tickets earlier in the week at the Caroline box office, standing with the thousands of others waiting to complete their wrasslin’ pilgrimage. Once inside the Coliseum, we found our seats in the mezzanine. Fortunately we didn’t get stuck in the obstructed view cheap seats sitting behind the square cement pillars which supported the roof. After finding the seats, we made a quick run to the concession stand, came back and waited for the action to start. The National Anthem played with Paul Boesch, a decorated World War II veteran, standing at attention along with the rest of the faithful. Either Peter Birkholz or Tom Prichard made the announcement warning that anyone throwing anything toward the ring or the wrestlers would be thrown out of the building and arrested. I always abided by this request, because the Houston Police Department’s main station was just a few blocks away on Riesner Street.

At the beginning of 1987, the UWF had a pretty solid roster. On the “face” side, “Dr. Death” Steve Williams, Ted DiBiase, Hacksaw Jim Duggan, the Fantastics and Terry Taylor were holding the bad guys at bay. The “heels” were well stocked with Skandor Akbar’s latest version of Devastation, Inc., which included the One-Man Gang, Wild Bill Irwin, and Eli the Eliminator. Eddie Gilbert was beginning to form Hot Stuff International with Missy Hyatt. Their first recruit was Rick Steiner. And, of course, there was our old buddies the Fabulous Freebirds, who ensured that there was never a dull moment in any bout they were involved in.

The first match pitted another Akbar ally, The Ninja, against Johnny West. The Ninja also wrestled as Ryuma Go and is known as an All-World space cadet.  He is mentioned in Mick Foley’s “Have a Nice Day” as claiming to be from another planet. He did a stint in the AWA in 1986 as Mr. Go, Larry Zbyszko’s bodyguard and tag team partner before coming to the UWF. It was slightly unusual to see a martial arts guy in the traditionally mat-based brawling that the UWF specialized in. In any event, the Ninja totally dominated West, who might have gotten 30 seconds worth of token offense during the match. Go finished West off with the Stump Puller and got the decision. The Ninja continued to plummet West afterwards, but Akbar pulled him off. For a total squash, it wasn’t that bad of a match.

The next contest featured more Devastation dudes. Eli the Eliminator and wild Bill Irwin came out to a chorus of boos accompanied by the ever-devious Akbar. The crashing, crunching chords of ZZ Top’s “Sharp Dressed Man” heralded the entrance of Bobby Fulton and Tommy Rogers, otherwise known as the Fantastics. The guys had a noticeable female following as screams welcomed them into the ring. Once the music stopped so did the screaming. It was rather eerie, much like the Pavlovian reactions to sound and light cues that some of today’s WWF live crowds exhibit. The match was a good back-and-forth battle, with Akbar and his duo constantly double and triple teaming either Fulton or Rogers outside the ring or inside of it with the referee distracted. The high-flying style of the Fantastics meshed well with the brute force of Eli and Irwin. The match reached its conclusion as Rogers made the hot tag to his partner after Fulton had suffered a beatdown for several minutes. Rogers cleaned house and Fulton joined him to dish out punishment to Devastation. As the referee turned his back to clear Fulton out of the ring, Akbar threw Irwin his cane, who used it to clobber Rogers. Rogers was pinned, and Devastation, Inc. was enjoying a perfect albeit violent Friday night at the Coliseum.

The third match involved Rick Steiner against Jeff Gaylord. Steiner had entered Mid-South in 1985 under his given name of Rob Rechsteiner. He did a fair share of jobs, but it was clear that the future Dog Faced Gremlin was one tough guy. Even when he lost, Jim Ross pushed Steiner’s University of Michigan wrestling experience on Mid-South/UWF television. By late 1986 Steiner had begun to string together some victories. His manager Eddie Gilbert wasn’t on the card that night, so Steiner stalked down to the ring alone, clad in his Michigan letterman’s jacket and wrestling headgear. Jeff Gaylord came out next. Some have called this guy one of the biggest dopes in wrestling history, but I don’t have many recollections of him other than Big 8 football fanatic Ross putting over his Missouri gridiron days and the strands tied around his biceps a la the Ultimate Warrior (who was still Bladerunner Rock at this point). As soon as the bell rang, Steiner subjected Gaylord to a variety of suplexes, bodyslams, and clotheslines that looked very painful from our vantage point. I guess old Jeff was supposed to be the face in this one, but I cheered for Steiner anyway. Steiner ended the match almost mercifully with a vicious suplex. Man, the bad guys were winning all the matches on this card.

Next came the intermission, and, ….what, what’s this….. (a Jimi Hendrix feedback fest begins to echo, room spinning, head shaking, discombobulated, what tha, where tha,need...Dramamine,  arrrgghhh)… 

“I got shot through a space not long ago,
I thought I knew the place so well.
It wasn't the same, now it goes to show,
Sometime you never can tell.”

Whew. Got to get the KFMWB fixed now. What’s the name of Christopher Lloyd’s character from “Back to the Future”? Doesn’t he live in Arizona, Vince? Oh well, it will be running by the next time we meet.

During my last installment, I asked our astute readers to help compose a CD of UWF theme music. With many thanks to Bruce and Travis Cook, this is our playlist thus far:

The Freebirds:  “Badstreet USA” and “Boys are Back in Town”--both by Michael Hayes from the "Off the Streets" album

Big Bubba Rogers: song from the original "Spy Hunter” (?)

Steve Williams:  “Born in the USA” by Mr. Springsteen

Buzz Sawyer: “Immigrant Song” by Led Zeppelin

Terry Taylor: "Notorious" by Duran Duran as a heel

Eddie Gilbert:  “Hot Stuff” by Donna Summer, when teaming with Sting or Steiner “Everybody Wants You” by Billy Squier

The Blade Runners:  “Castle Walls” by Styx

Sting & Steiner—the aforementioned Squier tune plus “Fight for Your Right” by the Beastie Boys

Ted DiBiase:  “Bad Reputation” by Joan Jett

 Koko Ware:  “The Bird” by The Time

Iceman Parsons: As a babyface—“We are Family” by Sister Sledge.  As a heel—“Control” by Janet Jackson

Hollywood John Tatum: in WCCW a couple of years later, he and Jack Victory used "Still of the Night" by Whitesnake—that’s close enough for rock ‘n’ roll and government work.

Missing Link:  “Metal Health” by Quiet Riot

Chris Adams:  “Eye of the Tiger” by Survivor

Gary Young: “Theme from Superman”

Sunshine:  “ I Didn't Mean To Turn You On” by Robert Palmer

Well, that’s it for now. I hope that everyone takes the time to reflect on the accomplishments of Martin Luther King, Jr. When Valentine’s Day rolls around, do not forget your sweetie. And please keep our troops and those affected by the war in your thoughts and prayers.  

Thanks for reading. Until next time, take care.

NEXT MONTH: 

Will the Wayback Machine get fixed and/or will anyone care?