Clash of the Champions 8 Page 2
- Governor
Campbell of SC declares it to be “Ric Flair Day”, so of course Flair loses
the title in a retirement match and has his head shaved by his own son. No,
wait, sorry, Vince Russo isn’t for another 10 years or so, my mistake.
- Ranger
Ross v. Sid Vicious. Vicious has the same music as today, it should be
noted. Can you say “Legalized murder of a jobber?” I knew you could.
Helicopter slam and powerbomb finish at 1:07. Sid is just SCARY over. See ya
Ranger, enjoy retirement. DUD
- Robin
Green (Rick Steiner’s innocent girlfriend) and Missy Hyatt go
shopping.
- NWA World
tag title match: The Freebirds v. The Steiner Brothers. This is the
Steiners’ first ever shot at the titles. Yes, I know, I too have trouble
coming to grips with a time when they had never even gotten a shot before, let
alone won it sixteen times. Scott Steiner was to 1989 what Kurt Angle was
to 2000, except he had a 100x more potential to be the guy to carry the sport
into the next century. Think about THAT and then cry yourself to sleep when you
watch him today. It’s so weird when I tell people about how awesome Scott used
to be and I get blank stares in return. Here’s a guy who Ric Flair was going
to voluntarily lay down for one night – Steiner didn’t even ask, Flair just
offered to put the World title on him because he had that much confidence in him
– and Steiner refused the title so as not to split up the Steiner Brothers. It
makes me weep to have had to watch him deteriorate day by day following an arm
injury in 1991 that sent him on a permanent path down Roid Rage Avenue and
become more of a parody of himself every moment, when he used to be able to hit
crisp and perfect Frankensteiners from every angle at any time, and invent new
suplexes by the day. Ah well.
The angle
here is that Rick picked up a dorky chick who traveled from town to town to
cheer him on, and made her his valet. The girl’s name was Robin Green, and
soon she was joining Rick’s other valet, Missy Hyatt, for his matches. Missy
gave Robin a makeover, however, and as the weeks went by Robin got vampier and
vampier, and soon didn’t resemble that dorky girl in the least. Back to her in
a little bit. Scott outwrestles Hayes to start, but gets tagged with a right
hand. He sends both Freebirds fleeing with clotheslines, however, and the champs
stop to regroup. Scott dominates Garvin and hits a breathtaking released German
suplex. See, before Scott and Rick came along, no one even thought of doing
crazy stuff like letting the guy go when you suplexed them. It’s common to see
now, but before then that sort of thing just didn’t happen. Rick comes in and
just pounds Garvin with a Steinerline, and the ‘Birds run away again. Rick
powerslams both and hits a release belly-to-belly on Hayes. Blind charge misses,
and a Freebird double-team whip leads to a DDT on Rick for two. Rick plays
moron-in-peril, as the Freebirds HIT THE CHINLOCK. Hot tag Scott, and he just
KILLS the champs with a pair of Frankensteiners and a powerslam. He comes off
the ropes for a Steinerline, but unseen forces trip him up and Hayes hits a DDT
for the pin at 10:00 to retain. *** Some deliberately vague camerawork leaves us
unsure if it was Robin or Missy who tripped him up. Here’s a hint: Robin Green
is played by Nancy Sullivan, aka Woman. Robin turned heel and debuted Doom
at Halloween Havoc.
- Norman
the Lunatic v. Flyin’ Brian Pillman. Pillman brings an entire cheerleading
squad with him, because he’s a REAL MAN. Norman is Mike Shaw, aka Makhan
Singh, aka Bastion Booger. This is the sum total of WCW’s raid on Stampede
in one match. Norman blindsides Pillman, but he comes back with a dropkick,
suplex and Air Pillman (springboard clothesline). Norman bails and Pillman
follows with a SWEET plancha. Back in, Norman quickly hits an avalanche, then
drops Pillman face-first off an irish whip and goes upstairs for a FAT GUY OUTTA
CONTROL flying splash for two. LUCHA NORMAN! Brawl outside, where Norman
avalanches Pillman on the post, but misses a second try. Pillman gets some
Canadian Violence to stun him, then back into the ring for a missile dropkick,
bodyslam (!) and a backdrop. Crossbody is reversed to a powerslam by Norman, for
two. Lariat gets two, but Pillman comes back with a crucifix for the pin at
3:34. Holy guacamole, that was an awesome 3 ½ minute match. **3/4
- Mike
Rotunda v. Steve Williams. THE VARSITY CLUB EXPLODES! Steve Williams’
ill-advised heel turn ends here, as he split from the Varsity Club to
disintegrate the group for good shortly before this show. Williams’ initial
heel turn ranks as one of the all-time worst, as he phoned it in. No, I mean, he
LITERALLY phoned it in, sending a video from Japan one week in 1988 where he
simply announced that he was joining the Varsity Club with no explanation given
and none forthcoming. Doc hits a lariat and press slam to start, and being the
Doc, he adds FIVE reps to the press portion before slamming Rotundo. He charges
Mike in the corner, and gets caught with a wicked stiff lariat out of nowhere.
Rotundo then wrecks the momentum by going to the ABDOMINAL STRETCH OF SEVERE
DISCOMFORT to eat some time up. Doc sunset flip gets two, but Rotundo drops an
elbow for two. HIT THE CHINLOCK. Mike redeems himself about 200% by putting his
feet on the ropes. For those struggling to compile my “Top Ten Rules of
Wrestling”, you can slot in #7 as “Heels should put their feet on the ropes
at every opportunity”. It’s free heat, it costs you nothing, and it
instantly pisses off the fans. Doc misses an elbow and Rotundo covers for two.
The ol’ Jesse the Body Special (thumb to the eye) keeps Rotundo on
offense. Two slams from Rotundo and he goes upstairs, but Williams slams him off
– LITERALLY all the way across the ring. Sweet sassy molassy, that’s the Dr.
Death we know and love. Williams ducks a blind charge and Rotundo tumbles out.
Williams tries to powerslam him back in, but Rotundo falls on top, and Williams
rolls with it and ends up on top for the pin at 6:58. Hella fun match. ***1/4
- US title
match: Lex Luger v. Tommy Rich. Luger, ostensibly the monster heel, gets
the babyface pop here. Feeling out sequence goes nowhere. Rich gets a backdrop
and an armdrag, and Luger stalls. Headlockery follows. Cross body gets two for
Rich, and back to the arm. Schoolboy rollup gets two, and a small package gets
two. Luger comes back with his usual dull power stuff. Rich suplexes him into
the ring from the apron and drops him right on his head. Luger side slam gets
two, superplex gets two. Flying splash misses and Rich comes back to a HUGE
reaction from the crowd. Wow. MEMPHIS FISTDROP OF DEATH gets two. Lou Thesz
Press gets two. Brawl outside and Tommy punches the ringpost by accident. Back
in, Luger stunguns him and pins him at 10:34. Shockingly good match. ***
- Terry Funk
cuts a promo from his hospital bed, promising to be there tonight to kick
Flair’s ass.
- Flair
& Sting offer their rebuttal.
- Main
event: Ric Flair & Sting v. Great Muta & Dick Slater. Slater is
of course subbing for Funk. Sting & Muta start and the crowd is JAKKED.
Sting cleans house as Ross goes over the various types of mist used by Muta. For
the benefit of readers of the Rick, here’s the definitive guide:
Green:
Temporary weakness
Red: Bizarre and unpredictable effects
Gold: Permanent loss of drawing powers
Blue: Only affects WWF wrestlers
White: Kills plant life
Jewel: Releases Scott Hall from the Phantom Zone.
- Okay, so
maybe not. Ross DOES, however, mention the fabled Yellow Mist, which he notes is
SO dangerous that Muta has never used it outside of Japan. In other words, it
was just made up and a lot of people bought into it actually being real. But I
digress. Sting works Muta’s arm as Slater futilely tries to steal a tag and
Sting keeps yanking Muta back from the corner again. Too funny. Flair comes in
and lays in some INSANE chops to Muta and keeps working on the arm. Those things
were like 1.1 on the Canadian Violence scale – we’re talking Benoit &
Jericho when they’re both pissed at each other level stuff. Slater finally
gets his tag – and he gets chopped, too. Flair takes the Flair Flip, chops
Muta on the way by, and finishes with a double-axehandle off the top onto
Slater. Flair is SO The Man it’s not even funny. Muta hits a pescado onto
Flair as he hits the floor, then Sting hits one on him, then SLATER hits one on
Flair! LUCHA-DICK!
The heels
get pounded, however, and regroup. Any match featuring a highspot from friggin’
Dick Slater is an automatic *** in my book, right there. Back in, the faces work
Slater’s injured arm (he’s helpfully wearing a cast to give them a big neon
arrow saying “Hit me here!”). Sting suplex gets two. Muta back in, and he
gets press-slammed by Sting and suplexed by Flair. Muta goes to the eyes and
Flair is Nature-Boy-in-peril. Muta hits the handspring elbow and Slater pounds
on him in the corner. Slater gives him a spinning neckbreaker and works the
neck, which was of course injured by Terry Funk. PSYCHOLOGY! Muta hits a
spinkick and Slater works him over on the floor. Back in, Muta loads up his
fingers with mist from his mouth and applies the Vulcan nerve grip. Hot tag
Sting, and Katie bar the door, it’s a pier six brawl, and Sting’s a house
afire! Or house of fire, depending on your interpretation.
Press slam
Muta and Stinger splash leads to the deathlock, but Gary Hart comes in
and creams Sting with a roll of coins. Muta gets two. Muta uses a really ugly
looking powerbomb for two. He was going for a piledriver and then changed his
mind, I guess. Boy, I’d hate to be the guy taking the move with that kind of
indecision. Slater does the Piper slingshot under the bottom rope, and
now Sting is Ricky Morton. Brawl erupts on the floor, but it doesn’t
help Sting. Slater sleeper is quickly escaped. Piledriver is reversed, hot tag
Flair. CHOPS FOR EVERYONE! Heels all free, but Muta sprays Sting. Flair takes
Muta out with a suplex and figure-four, but Slater uses the cast to KO Flair.
Flair blades and the heels beat him down as Sting wanders around blind. And
suddenly Terry Funk runs in with a plastic bag, and tries to suffocate Ric
Flair! Now THAT’S a hot angle. Sting takes a branding iron to the knee and the
whole thing is a no-contest at 19:23. Man, give that sucker an ending and it’s
a MOTYC (Match of the year candidate, for those who keep asking). ****1/4 Flair
is given mouth-to-mouth resuscitation, end of show.
The
Bottom Line:
Being
Canadian in the late 80s sucked ass for wrestling fans, because we didn’t get
TBS until 1991 and thus missed great stuff like this show, which is a prime
example of how Flair was a master of booking AND wrestling. I know Mick Foley
doesn’t have nice things to say about him in his book, but then he can barely
remember his own matches anymore, so I don’t count him as a good source on the
matter. 1989 ruled, Flair is The Man, and that is all the people need to know.
Strongly recommended show.