Saturday Night's Main Event #4 Page 2
Heels bail to regroup while we take a break, but stay tuned for more WWF Action! Heels come running back in, and the faces win the advantage, but Piper gets a couple headbutts on Jim when the ring clears. Brain says Jesse warned him that Vince would be so biased against the heels, as Jim remembers that he can't be hurt in his head and he gets a headbutt.
Piper tries to tag, but Jim has a wristlock, so he can't. Piper and Jim slap each other till Piper tags Ventura, and they triple team the Hillbilly in the corner, and Ventura with a forearm and a quick tag to Orton, who lands an elbow to the back and tags Piper back in. Jim nails Piper with a right hand, and Luke is in. Luke nails all three heels with double axe handles, but Piper gets a sleeper on Luke.
All six men come in, and Luke breaks free from the sleeper only to get a cast to the head from Orton. Piper puts the sleeper back on, and we have a winner. Well, the heat was tremendous so there really isn't much dullness. Piper's the best wrestler of the six, but the Hillbillies can't wrestle, and Orton and Jesse are both past their prime. *3/4 just because of the almost non-stop action.
Vince, Bobby and Jesse recap the prior match, then we go to Mean Gene to Adventure Island in Tampa, and it's time for a waterslide competition. We see JYD branding Jimmy Hart. Hart wants revenge, but he's not a wrestler, so we have a waterslide competition to settle the score between Hart & Dog. JYD wins easily, and Jesse and Terry Funk at poolside complain, then Funk says he wants a great tan for when they take pics of the new WWF champion.
We go back to Denver, Winter 1985, Hogan vs. Funk. Hogan drops the leg on Funk, but Jimmy Hart distracts Hogan and the ref, and Funk uses the branding iron on Hogan. Apparently Funk was the winner, I don't know how, but anyways this sets up a rematch for this SNME.
Mean Gene standing by with Hogan, and Hulk is going to have JYD in his corner to keep an eye on Jimmy Hart. Hogan wearing his red Hulkamania shirt with blue tights, and he clears the ring. Then JYD grabs Jimmy Hart, and sits him down in a chair to keep an eye on him, as we take a break.
--WWF Title Match
HULK HOGAN w/JUNKYARD DOG vs. TERRY FUNK w/JIMMY HART--
Jesse's back on the mike, as they lockup, they reverse irish whips until Hogan
gets a clothesline in the corner, knocking Funk to the floor. Dave Hebner is
refereeing the match, as Funk is back in, and they lock up. Funk with three
chops, but misses a clothesline and almost goes over the top, so Hogan
clotheslines him over. JYD keeps Hart away from Funk, as he gets back inside.
Lockup, and a side headlock by the champion. Off the ropes, Funk goes down, so Hogan steps on him running back and forth about five times, and the place is going so nuts as Funk hits the floor the main camera is literally shaking. Funk grabs a chair and throws it in, so the champ sits on it, waiting for Funk.
"Terrible Terry," as he was sometimes reffered to in the WWF, gets back inside and they lock up again. Funk gets him in the corner and chops away, but Hogan reverses with big right hands, whip to the corner and Funk goes over the top to the apron, so Hulk brings him back in and a belly-to-back suplex, but it only gets two.
Right hand by Hulk, but Funk breaks in the eyes, two headbutts, then a kick to the crown jewels. Funk goes up top, but Hulk shakes the ropes and crotches Funk. Atomic drop by the champion, then a headbutt and a clothesline. Elbowdrop on Hogan and he says he's going to finish this one now.
Side headlock, Funk throws Hogan to the ropes, and Hart grabs his leg. So Hulk follows, and he and JYD chases Hart under the ring. While the ref is busy with this, Funk uses his tape on his wrist to choke the champion, and Jesse loves it. Funk with a piledriver for 2.888888888, and Jesse has a heart attack about the shabby officiating. Funk with right hands to Hogan's cranium, then he stomps away.
Hogan starts to no sell the punches and kicks, and nails three of his own, off the ropes and an elbow on Funk. He won't go down, so Hogan with the big foot, and Funk goes to the apron. Hart hops up, and JYD tries to go through the ring to get to him. Hebner stops that, and while this is happening, Hogan goes to suplex Funk back in the ring.
He gets him up, and Hart with a branding iron home run to the champion's gut gets Funk on top of Hogan. Hogan gets his foot on the rope at two, and Funk goes apeshit on the referee as JYD nails Hart outside. Hogan clothesline and cover gets a three count, retaining his title. Well, that's actually one of Hogan's better matches in the WWF, and he and Funk bust their butts for the network tv. ***1/2. Commercial break.
Back, and we see Funk dragging Hart back to the dressing room by his ankle, and Mean Gene is in the ring with the WWF champion. Hogan says he ain't had enough, he wants more.
Flashback to the first SNME, when George Steele turns face. Then the shock therapy for Steele, which works at first, then he has a relapse. Then the second SNME, when Gene goes to the Detroit Zoological Park, and interviews Steele. Then we go to the Adventure Island, with Steele playing in the water with Gene and Capt. Lou.
Now we go to another part of the park, with Randy Savage and Elizabeth up on a four foot diving board. Jesse interviews Randy, and apparently Liz doesn't know how to swim. So, what's he do?
A - Go down to the pool and show her how.
B - Sign her up for swimming lessons.
C - Throw her in and laugh with Jesse about it.
If you said C, you have won...ABSOLUTELY NOTHING! But you were right, as McMahon has a fit about it. Jesse with the line of the night "McMahon, can you imagine what will happen when he teaches her how to parachute." Liz holds the ropes for Savage, who is playing with the crowd. While this happens, Steele rubs his head on Liz, and Savage freaks.
--GEORGE STEELE w/CAPT. LOU ALBANO vs. RANDY SAVAGE w/ELIZABETH--
The referee...a young Dean Malenko. There's a trivia question for you. Steele with his unorthadox chasing style, which freaks Savage to the outside. Repeat the sequence, then we finally lock up, and Steele with his best maneauver, the Greco-Roman bite. Then he throws Savage over the top, and Savage takes his first vicious NBC bump, this one on an unpadded concrete floor.
Steele follows, but stops to admire Elizabeth, until Savage hops on the top rope back inside, and Steele regroups on his own. Steele back in, and Savage with a front face lock, then a kneelift. Steele with a right hand, and a kick, and Savage bails. He pulls Steele outside and hits two elbows, but a George elbow freaks Savage, who then pulls Elizabeth in front of him.
Savage back in, and he catches Steele, but Steele hits a body slam anyways, and he opens up a turnbuckle, back when it was still a little unique, not like two years later when you knew he would do it. Then Steele with his second best piece of offense, the turnbuckle padding to the face, as Savage bails.
Steele gets distracted by Liz, so Savage off the top with a double axe handle and a three count, 1/2* because of the Savage bump and the double axe handle that must have been 3/4 of the way across the ring. Besides that, 3/4 the match is running around on the outside, used just to set the whole George loves Liz and Savage doesn't treat her right storyline. Break.
We're back, and Mean Gene is rocking to headphones on the beach until Hulk gets his attention, and we into the Year In Review 1985 for the WWF. It's set to "When The Going Get Tough" by Billy Ocean and basically its just clips of title matches, the Bundy splashing Hillbilly angle, or clips from WrestleMania or Saturday Night's Main Events past. Jesse complains because he wasn't in it.
Mean Gene with Fred Blassie and Nikolai Volkoff talking about the Peace Match. Volkoff, from what you could understand, says he is a peaceful man. Then Iron Sheik shows up, and does what I believe is the only time ever, says Iran and Russia #1, but doesn't spit.
The Cpl. Kirscher with Jesse, and he's ready for the match, and then he shows us the proper way to enter water, stupid. Volkoff sings the Russian National Anthem, as if you really needed me to tell you. Then of course, in the middle of it, Kirschner comes out.
--Peace Match
CPL. KIRSCHNER vs. NIKOLAI VOLKOFF w/IRON SHEIK & FRED BLASSIE--
They shake hands, and lockup, and when Volkoff gets Cpl into the ropes, he cleanly breaks. Kirschner also with a clean break, to show that there will be no combat, strictly wrestling. Go behind and a takedown by Volkoff, but Kirschner gets it to an armbar. Side headlock takeover by Kirschner, and Volkoff with a roll up for two.
Volkoff tries to power out of it with a hammerlock, but its literally a draw for a minute until Volkoff gets to the ropes and a clean Kirschner break. Tie up, another Volkoff go behind, and he uses a bridge for a one count. Kirschner rolls through a body slam, and rolls up Volkoff for only one.
Side headlock by Kirschner, Volkoff brings him to the corner, and Dean Malenko asks and gets a clean break, then another hand shake. Lockup, and another side headlock by Kirschner, which he turns into a hammerlock. Volkoff grabs the leg to break, and gets shot into the ropes. He actually does a cartwheel! then a shoulderblock.
Kirschner catches him with a drop toe hold and gets a hammerlock on the big Russian. Small package by Kirschner, only worth a two count, and another lockup, which goes to the ropes. This time, no clean break, a knee to the gut, stun gun, and a knee drop across the throat gets a three count for Volkoff.
Sheik spits on Kirschner, and he goes apeshit on Volkoff and Sheik after the match, clearing the ring of the heels. It was actually impressive to see these two use wrestling maneauvers, so it is an interesting watch, *3/4.
Flashback to Ricky Steamboat getting hung, and the last SNME when Muraco and Fuji beat him down, which brings us to a commercial break.
We return to Saturday Night's Main Event, as Muraco is out surfboarding, then a bunch of girls come hug him. Back to the arena, Mean Gene with the stars of Fuji Vice, Muraco and Fuji, and Muraco shows us that the first "The Rock" was not quite the man on the microphone that the newer one is. Then Mean Gene with Steamer and JYD, and Steamboat says that his opponents have done everything to him but beat him. Break.
--RICKY STEAMBOAT & JUNKYARD DOG vs. DON MURACO & MR. FUJI--
We come back, and the heels blindside the faces. Steamboat gets thrown outside, and Fuji slams him on the concrete as Muraco in the ring kicks away at JYD. Irish whip, but a JYD reversal and back body drop. Snap mare, but JYD misses a headbutt, and Fuji gets tagged in.
Fuji with some chops, but JYD is too powerful, and he body slams him. Fuji begs for mercy, then goes to the eyes for the break. Tag to Muraco, but he gets an arm drag coming in, then a body slam for a two count. Muraco gets up, but stumbles into Steamboat, who levels him with a right hand, then JYD gets him in a neutral corner.
JYD with a headbutt right on the nose, as Fuji gets tagged in. Chops, a kick and an elbow takes JYD down, and Muraco gets tagged back in. Kick, then knifedge chop knocks down the Dog. Elbowdrop by Muraco, then he goes for a pile driver, but JYD reverses with a back body drop. Tag to Fuji, and he cuts JYD off with a chop, then gets him down and the headbutt to the lower belt area.
Muraco back in, and he stomps away at the JYD, who is crawling like the dog he supposedly is. Muraco whips JYD into the corner, but a charge eats nothing but post, and a HOT tag to Steamboat. Muraco begs for mercy, but instead gets every form of a chop known to man, then he nails Fuji. Muraco off the ropes, two chops, and an enziguri. Fuji comes in to save Muraco, so Steamboat slingshots him into Fuji.
Steamboat up top, flying body press on Muraco, but Fuji breaks it at two. Tag to Fuji, tries an atomic drop, but Steamboat rolls through, and a tag to JYD. Headbutt, a kick to the gut, and a three count for JYD. Steamboat beats on Muraco, knocking him out of the ring, and JYD with another headbutt on Fuji, knocking him out of the ring. *1/2. Back in a minute.
We return, and Vince says the greatest thing we saw tonight was Hogan winning the title. Well, Jesse wrestled and won, so if you even have to ask if Jesse disagrees, you must either be 10 years old or leave now. Break, Goodbyes from the crew, and a Happy New Year!
Funk and Hogan put on a good match, one of Hogan's best in the WWF, and for sure his best of 1985. It was taped at the end of 1985, so I'll count it as that, even though it aired in 1986. Also, an interesting look at a few things, including an actual WRESTLING! match from Volkoff and Kirschner. Well, this is a good look at the WWF as they were going completely from the somewhat adult stuff to completely the kids thing. If you want to see the extra-cartoonish stuff they used to do, plus a great Hulk-Funk match, get this. Overall, *** for Saturday Night's Main Event from January 1986.