Summer Slam 1989 Page 2

·  Demolition and Jim Duggan are ready for Team Slick.

·  Mr. Perfect v. Terry Taylor

I refuse to call him that other name. The man deserves some dignity. Hennig rules the friggin' earth at this point. Short match as Taylor blows out his knee on a leapfrog and collapses on a bodyslam attempt. Taylor rolls out of the ring to assess the damage and obviously it was pretty bad because Hennig finishes it as soon as he could without it looking suspicious. *

·  Rick Rude gives his last interview as the champ.

·  The Rockers & Tito Santana v. The Rougeaus & Rick Martel

Now I'll have that "All American Boys" song stuck in my head all day. Six guys in a WWF ring in 1989 and none of them suck. What are the odds? Controlled chaos to start, but Marty becomes Face in Peril pretty quick. The "Battle of Strike Force" confrontation is teased, but since Martel is a cowardly heel he runs. Now it's Tito's turn to get beat up. Jacques is doing the Eddy Guerrero rudo bit. Too much kicking and punching between the cool spots. Rougeau blunder allows hot tag to Michaels. Chaotic ending as the heels collide midring and Tito knocks Ray and Rick out with the Flying Jalapeno. Jacques rolls up Marty, who reverses, but Martel knocks him on his ass and Jacques re-reverses for the winning pin. Didn't rule the friggin' earth or anything, but good effort for the time period. ***

·  Intercontinental title match: Rick Rude v. The Ultimate Warrior

Remember when Rude had hair? Muscle definition? Credibility as a wrestler? Warrior destroys him for a few minutes to start, including a *vicious* bump as Warrior press-slams him right to the floor. Hilarious, classic rant by Jesse against Tony out of nowhere that has to be heard to be appreciated (it's the one about guns and DQs outside the ring). Poor Tony sounds like he's going to cry at the end. Total dominance by the Warrior, including some ... gasp ... WRESTLING MOVES?!? Warrior? Carry a match? Nah. He misses whatever off the top, turning the tide.

Chinlock wastes time, then a sleeper leads to a ref bump sequence. Oh my god, I think Joey Marella is dead! Oh, wait, not yet. Everyone is out. Warrior hulks up and hits the THREE CLOTHESLINES OF DOOM! Then a powerslam for fun. No ref. Piledriver, still no ref. Finally a two-count. Running powerslam (TWO VARIATIONS OF THE SAME MOVE! WHOA!) but the splash misses. Ugly, ugly piledriver for two. Fistdrop for two. Piledriver again for two, and here comes Roddy Piper! Rude has some choice words and hip motions for Piper, who responds by flipping up his kilt and mooning Rude! Rude is upset, but ... uh ... Rick, look out behind you ... too late. Shoulderblock! Press slam! Splash! "And the crowd goes wild" almost seems too understated given the reaction. Warrior regains the title to everyone's delight. ***, his best match to that point, ever.

·  Hennig! Piper! Garvin! Heenan! Rude! Intermission must be coming up if we're getting all these interview sound bites.

·  Akeem, Big Bossman and Andre the Giant v. Demolition and King Duggan

The sound techs don't allow Slick the proper time to get funky. Kick and punch fest. Bossman and Smash are watchable, the rest are dead weight. Chaos ensues, Smash slams both Twin Towers, then Duggan smacks Akeem with the 2x4 and Smash pins him. DUD

·  Hercules v. Greg Valentine

Ronnie Garvin is special guest ring announcer, so he makes fun of Valentine with some of the un-funniest lines I've ever heard. Have I ever mentioned how much I hate Ronnie Garvin? Nothing match as Valentine wins with his feet on the ropes. 1/4* Garvin proceeds to announce a Hercules DQ win.

·  Ted DiBiase v. Jimmy Snuka

And the crowd goes apathetic. Snuka messes up a leapfrog, drawing boos. Total DiBiase match, dead silent crowd. Snuka comeback, and he goes for the big splash, but Virgil chases him down and suckers him into a countout. 1/2* Virgil ends up taking the splash as DiBiase bails. Don't ask me why they even booked this one.

·  Hulk Hogan & Brutus "The Barber Butcher Disciple Zodiac Clipmaster Booty Man With No Name" Beefcake v. Zeus & Randy Savage

But first, the Genius reads a poem. Sherri looks like the prostitute daughter of a circus sideshow freak. Hogan and Beefer get separate entrances. The heels are color coordinated in black and silver. Elizabeth shows up for the faces. Zeus is indestructible, don't ya know? I feel like shouting BLACK MAN ON PCP! BLACK MAN ON PCP! until the LAPD comes with baseball bats to beat him, but my politically correct side wins out. But seriously, what substances was Zeus taking to make him so zonked?

Hogan gets the beats put on, hot tag to Beefcake, who takes out Savage but falls prey to the HIDEOUS LOADED PURSE OF DOOM! Zeus may be the only guy who calls Jorge Gonzalez for technical wrestling advice. Hot tag #2 to Hulk, who creams Savage. Savage comeback, big elbow, but of course Hogan can't even be bothered to take a two-count. Hogan and Zeus do the big showdown, and since Hulk can't take him down by legal means, he waits until Hebner is distracted and then uses the HIDEOUS LOADED PURSE OF DOOM!, followed by a bodyslam and legdrop, and good night Irene. 1/2* Liz decks Sherri for fun.

The Bottom Line: Well, what you see was what you get, basically. What was supposed to be good (Harts-Busters, Six-Man, Warrior-Rude) was good, and the rest was crap. But three ***+ matches was not bad at all for the time frame, make no mistake.

I still don't specifically recommend going out of your way to watch this show, but if you do happen to watch it some day, it's a good watch. I personally liked the 1990 version better, however.

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