WWF Coliseum Videos #9 Page 2
- WWF tag title match: Tony Garea & Rick Martel v. Mr. Fuji &
Mr. Saito. Good match in a bad period for the WWF. Very back and forth
and quick pace, until Martel comes off the top rope and Fuji tosses salt
in
his face mid-air, rolling through the bodypress attempt to win the tag
titles. 4 for 8.
Bottom Line #1: Hey, if you like old school, this is it. Post-Sammartino
(76ish) to Pre-Hogan (83ish) was the WWF equivalent to WCW's 1991-1996
era, but Garea and Martel were terrific.
The Best of the WWF, #3.
- Opening match: Rowdy Roddy Piper v. Jimmy Snuka. This is a strap
match. A really thin strap that looks like it hurts. The usual good
match between these two, it looks like the dark match for an old
Superstars taping. Snuka actually dominates and wins with a flying
bodypress. 1 for 1.
- Ricky Steamboat v. Bob Orton, Jr. I covered this one in my
"High Flyers" review. Basically, it's really good and Dragon
wins by DQ. 2 for 2.
- The British Bulldogs v. Rene Goulet & Johnny Rodz. Total squash,
and the Bulldogs just look AWESOME and draw a standing ovation from the
crowd. That never happens anymore, thanks to overexposure and
repetition. The Bulldogs were truly something *different*, and the fans
could appreciate that. Davey Boy powerslams Rodz, and Goulet runs in,
but Davey Boy catches him in a fireman's carry, then Dynamite goes to
the top, climbs on the back of Goulet (who is on Smith's shoulders) and
dives off with a headbutt onto Rodz. Now that is some
incredible spot-making. 3 for 3.
- The British Bulldogs v. The Hart Foundation. More spunky goodness from
the Bulldogs. Bret Hart looked so pudgy and innocuous as a greasy heel
here. These teams had a such a great groove from 1985-1988. No one is
really in control, and they're trading double-teams when the bell rings
for curfew. Damn, I would have liked to see the ending. 4 for 4.
- From TNT: Lou Albano takes George "The Animal" Steele for
psychiatric treatment, beginning with hypnosis. That doesn't work, so
they decide
to try shock treatments. No, really, Vince used to *pay* people to think
this stuff up. A few thousand volts (give or take) and he's able to
recite "How now brown cow?" in an educated voice. Alas, more
voltage reverses the effects
- George Steele, Barry Windham & Mike Rotundo v. John Studd, Adrian
Adonis & Bobby Heenan. A nothing match. Steele chases Heenan around
a
lot until finally tossing a chair in the ring for the DQ. Not much good
happened in between. 4 for 5.
- David Sammartino v. Brutus Beefcake. From the first Wrestlemania.
David wasn't very talented, so the match is booked to be about 30
seconds long before Daddy Sammartino and Johnny V run in and start a big
brawl. 4 for 6.
- Bruno & David Sammartino v. Brutus Beefcake & Johnny V. Here's
the match: Bruno comes in and does a spot to Beefcake to the delight of
the
MSG crowd, then David comes in and repeats the same spot, just like his
father, except worse. Repeat for ten minutes, then David gets a cradle
on Johnny V out of nowhere for the pin. 4 for 7. I'm very relieved we
never, ever saw David again after 1985.
- King Kong Bundy models potential wigs on TNT.
- King Kong Bundy v. Tony Garea. Why did they give this 10 minutes?
Incredibly boring, as Bundy finally hits the Avalanche for the pin. 4
for 8.
- 18 man battle royale. Hulk and Andre are both in it. Jobber Bob Boyer
gets crushed in an attempted pile-on on Andre. The ending is an exact
repeat (preview?) of Royal Rumble 1992, with Hulk playing Hulk, Andre
playing Sid, and John Studd playing Ric Flair. Studd dumps both guys and
wins the thing, and Hulk throws a hissy fit. 4 for 9.
The Bottom Line: Starts really good, goes downhill very fast. Take a
pass on this one.
Best of the WWF #4.
- Opening match: Rowdy Roddy Piper v. Paul Orndorff. This is the result
of Orndorff blowing the match at Wrestlemania and Piper blaming
him. Super hot crowd, and Orndorff looks great. Piper is a genius at
always working the eye poke in somewhere. Orndorff is just beating the
snot out of Piper when Piper's boy-toy Bob Orton runs in and causes the
DQ. The heels destroy Orndorff (with the crowd screaming for Hogan) but
Hogan's not there so the Bulldogs make the save. 1 for 1.
- Hulk Hogan & Jimmy Snuka v. Orton & Muraco. When Hogan dogs
it, then it gets really bad. Hogan is indestructible for a few minutes,
before
(I swear) a single knee to the gut suddenly has Hogan writhing in pain
and agony on the mat. Ugh. Snuka gets tagged in and gets tagged in the
other sense, with Orton's ever-present cast. He must have hit an artery
or something on his forehead, because Orton's cast is covered in Snuka's
blood after one shot. Hogan eventually tags back in, and a big brawl
erupts and the heels get DQ'd. 1 for 2.
- 20 man battle royale. You may have heard of this one, it's a pretty
famous ending. Basically a parade of jobbers. A more impressive parade
you'll never see, however -- SD Jones, Jose Estrada, Johnny Rodz, Tiger
Chung Lee, Swede Hanson, they're all here. Greg Valentine blades for no
readily apparent reason. Adrian Adonis and Tony Atlas eventually start
tossing jobbers until it's just them, SD Jones and Greg Valentine. Atlas
and Jones form a coalition and eventually toss the heels. So what do we
do now? Flip a coin, of course. Atlas calls heads and wins the battle
royale. 1 for 3.
- Special segment with clips of wrestlers' specialties. If you don't
blink, you'll catch a young, blond, Stan Hansen taking out Bruno and
a
younger, mop-topped Larry Zbyszko taking on Bruno. I'll give that alone
a point. 2 for 4.
- Stretcher match: Andre the Giant v. Killer Khan. Another famous match
that isn't all that good. Khan broke Andre's ankle a couple of months
previous and the big guy is kinda pissed. Khan gets his token offense
in, then the Giant completely obliterates him, with something like 10
buttdrops and a big splash before finally the ref calls for the
stretcher to end the match. 2 for 5.
- Steel cage: Andre the Giant v. John Studd. Clipped. Andre slams Studd
and then does a buttdrop off the top rope! This was a 500 pound
guy we're talking about here. Andre wins, of course. 3 for 6 for the
buttdrop alone.
- Andre the Giant v. King Kong Bundy. This was dubbed the "Colossal
Jostle" by someone with more drug problems than I. Long, boring
match.
Studd runs in at some predetermined but still nonsensical point to draw
the DQ. 3 for 7.
- Greg Valentine & Brutus Beefcake v. Ricky Steamboat & Tito
Santana. I always thought that Santana and Steamboat would have made a
perfect
team, and this bears me out. Beefcake sucks as always. Santana &
Valentine had the issue over the I-C title at this point. A few hot
tags, with Santana eventually becoming the House O' Fire and hitting the
Flying Jalapeno on Valentine. Beefcake makes the save and tosses
Steamboat, but the referee escorts him out. Valentine was holding
Santana from behind in a waistlock, waiting for Beefcake, and Santana
hooks a leg, takes him down, and slaps on the figure-four in one motion.
Now that was nifty. Valentine submits. 4 for 8.
The Bottom Line: This was pretty okay. The ending tag match was great,
everything else was pretty much hit-or-miss.