Where Wrestling's Regional History Lives!
- Scott Keith
- Live from New York, New York, the city so ugly they had to name it twice.
- Your hosts are Jesse Ventura and Gorilla Monsoon.
- Gene Okerlund sings the national anthem. Dear God...
- Opening match: Tito Santana v. The Executioner. Welcome to hell, Tito, as you're stuck in the opening match against a masked Buddy Rose before the crowd is even finished filing in. Well, things would get better later. Rose, btw, weighs all of about 200 pounds here, although he would get a huge gut the next year. Maybe he should use "Blow Away". Standard jobber match to introduce the very-not-wrestling-fan crowd to the basics of what's going on here tonight. Actually a reasonably decent match as Rose controls for a couple of minutes, but Tito makes the comeback with the Flying Jalapeno and figure-four for the submission. I've seen worse. **
- SD Jones v. King Kong Bundy. This would be the very definition of a squash. Jones jumps into a bearhug and gets Avalanched and pinned in 9 seconds to set a (bogus) speed record. DUD
- Matt Borne v. Ricky Steamboat. Geez, where do you start here? Borne is a jobber at this point who would go on to become WCW's Big Josh and from there the WWF's original Doink the Clown. Steamboat is fresh off jumping from the NWA here. It should be noted that Steamboat is the first one to participate in both the first Starrcade and the first Wrestlemania, although there's two more later in this show. Good Lord those ropes are loose. Steamboat pretty much squashes Borne and finishes it with the flying bodypress. It's the Steamer, so there's nothing to hate here. **1/4
- Brutus Beefcake v. David Sammartino. There was some sort of feud going on here, but it's the David Flair of 1985 so who gives a crap? Sammartino was so hideously untalented that even the almighty power of nepotism couldn't get him over. Speaking of hideously untalented, Beefcake was no slouch in that department, sucking the meat missile as emphatically as anyone at the time. This is very, very old school. David works on Beefcake's leg for a while, but Beefcake comes back with his 1985 offense. Oh, wait, this WAS 1985, so I guess it's apropos. David comes back in turn with some rights and a kneelift. David moves sooooooo slow. Beefcake tosses David out of the ring, where Johnny V attacks. Bruno saves his son and absolutely beats the crap out of Johnny, triggering a big brawl for the double-DQ. Cheap ending. *1/2More...